
We’ve all seen them on Versus’ coverage of the Tour de France – the “fans” who run alongside the riders on mountain cols, waving flags, screaming in the riders’ ears, spraying water all over their heroes, sometimes laying hands on racers. Almost always these aficionados tear along with veins bulging out of their foreheads and, especially unfortunately, quite often they’re clothed in nothing more than a speedo. The spectacle would be humorous, were it not so fraught with peril for the riders. Even worse, what had been mostly an indictment of a small segment of European cycling fandom has now migrated to the USA. In last month’s Amgen Tour of California, TV viewers were treated to very similar boorish behavior on the behalf of “fans” wearing big-hair wigs, stuffed reindeer antlers, and, yes, the ubiquitous speedos.
I admit to possessing a pretty big streak of curmudgeonliness (Theodore Dreiser’s quip about life is one of my all-time favorite curmudgeonly views). But my objection to running fans is not just churlishness – it’s based on the real risks posed to the riders by those who have somehow concluded that the race is really all about them. Compared to how many times we see fans running alongside the riders or standing on the route only to jump aside at the very last instant, it’s remarkable that so few serious incidents have occurred. Lance’s fall from a handlebar hooked on a fan’s musette, Hushovd’s sliced arm from a fan’s “we’re number one” sign, Cavendish’s tumble from a direct collision and Guerini’s memorable fall after impact with a photographer on L’Alpe d’Huez in 1999 are some that come to mind.
What is it about a fan’s need to support his (and it’s almost always the male persuasion who indulges in this behavior) fave that somehow convinces him that participating in an activity where only a slight misstep can cause his hero very serious harm is absolutely essential. It’s a pretty good guess that wine and/or beer plays a not insignificant role in the calculus that goes into the decision. The fact that these morons would almost surely not appreciate hundreds of people slapping them on the back, screaming in their ears, spraying water in their faces and generally harassing them seems to be lost on these geniuses. It’s the same mentality exhibited by those who rationalize touching artworks at the Louvre or whispering to friends at the Sistene Chapel. What harm could come from one touch or one sotto voce comment? For some reason the notion that if they’ve convinced themselves it’s OK plenty of others must be doing the same never crosses their minds.
Whenever most thoughtful and considerate cycling fans see the mayhem that transpires on the high cols in the Tour, there is much gnashing of teeth about “what can be done”. Any number of solutions have been proposed, from fencing off much longer stretches of roadway, to having enough motorcycles to create a truly rolling cordon for all riders to the ingenious proposal that every passenger on an official motorcycle be equipped with a whiffle bat to be used to whale on any one infringing on the race course. None of these are practical. Probably the only thing that might have any chance of reducing the probability that future racers will be negatively impacted by yay-hoos is an outreach campaign to the vast majority of cycling fans who are interested in watching the spectacle without risking inflicting damage on it. Such an appeal would encourage these fans to counsel the jerks (who are usually pretty obvious well in advance of their transgressions) to show their enthusiasm in ways that do not threaten or impinge upon the well-being of the riders. I know – pigs need to fly first.
The kind of behavior in question here is rarely exhibited at professional football games. The poor unfortunate few who have taken it upon themselves to run alongside their favorite player have found themselves lying on the field seeing stars be virtue of being bowled over by a 250 pound linebacker. I admit I was one of the many who cheered a number of years ago when a motorcycle at the Tour ran over one of the nincompoops who was trying to be the show rather than cheer on the show.
If you’re planning on attending the Tour this year, good for you. It’s an incredible spectacle. But do us all a favor by giving the riders enough room to compete so they can put on the unbelievable show that thrills us all.
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