Where is Britney Spears & Ann Coulter when we need them? American Idol is back tonight!

January 13, 4:24 PMPop Culture ExaminerDominic Patten

Previous Next

3 comments Print Email RSS Subscribe

Subscribe

Get alerts when there is a new article from the Pop Culture Examiner. Read Examiner.com's terms of use.

Email Address   Include other special offers from Examiner.com Terms of Use

 

Forget the endless swan song of George W. Bush, forget the Hilary hearings on becoming Secretary of State and forget Barack Obama's reign in waiting ... the really big story is the return of American Idol on FOX at 8PM tonight.

One of the most successful shows in TV history is back for its eighth season. And though the suicide of former Season Five auditioner Paula Goodspeed put a pallor over Idol this past summer, nothing is going to likely stop the show from once again reaching the top of the ratings week after week

Now personally, I know you shouldn't mess with what works, but I think Idol needs some real superstar blood. I'd love to see Britney Spears be given a big role on the show. She could flameout better than Paula and cut down contestants, with her own success and notoriety, far faster than Simon Cowell. But that's just fanciful thinking on my part because, like past seasons, judges Randy "Dawg" Jackson, the uncomfortably unpredictable Paula Abul, the less than sugar coated Simon Cowell are all back, along with endlessly sunny host Ryan Seacrest. 

However, producers are hoping to inject some new blood into the franchise with songwriter Kara DioGuardi joining the show as a judge this season. Not just a pretty face, and not that on TV there's anything wrong with that, DioGuardi has written a number of tunes for past Idol performers such as Carrie Underwood, Katharine McPhee, Kelly Clarkson and David Achuleta. She even co-wrote the Kylie Minogue hit "Spinning Around" with Paula Abul a few years back. Hopefully Kara will offer some genuine balance between Paula and Simon, two people who are so obviously meant to get together as a couple one day, and bring Randy out of his default cliché ridden TV mode.  The main problem with the freak show that Idol can, and often should, be is that the judges are too nice. I know some think Simon is cutting but I've never understood this opinion. The harshest thing about Cowell is that his tastes are so stuck in the 1980s, his so-called barbed one-liners are pretty muted. 

Not that the Idolites listen to me very often, because to be honest I prefer Nashville Stars so much more, but I think they should get Ann Coulter as a guest judge later this season. If you saw the right-winger author's appearance on The View the other day, where she got down and dirty not just with Whoopi Goldberg but Barbara Walters as well, then you know that Coulter has more juice than the power grid. Get her on Idol and then some real barbed language would be flying around. Though contestants might sneak through if they covered a Grateful Dead tune or two - turns out the blond commentator has a hippy weak spot for the San Fran band.

And if you just can't get enough Idol, don't worry there's only a month until the American Idol Experience attraction opens at Disney World. Add a couple of Pina Coladas and you've got yourself a karaoke night!

Still, as nothing says American success like excess, I once again say let's bring on Britney Spears, a true American Idol.