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Heartache and high-end fashion
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Remnants of a failed relationship come in many forms: CDs, old movie ticket stubs, books, magazine subscriptions, grooming products, half-emptied packages of Oreos and, of course, a broken heart that leaves you asking yourself, “Why did he/she do this to me?!”
But there is one special remnant that people can benefit from: high-end designer clothes.
Needless to say, this is the perfect post for someone to write on the eve of Valentine’s Day. Plus, this goes hand-in-hand with the theory of “mediocre dating season” (click here to read up on said brilliant theory).
In a chance encounter, I got caught in the crossfire of a break up. Actually, my friend Barney (the names in this story have been changed to protect the innocent and lovelorn) was caught in it as well.
His cousin Lily has a boyfriend named Marshall. They have had this really telenovela-worthy relationship. They have been on the rocks for some time now. One day, Lily caught Marshall surfing through a website that wasn’t exactly rated PG. And the site also gave subscribers the opportunity to – how should I put this – “meet” people. I think I will just leave it at that.
As a result, they broke up, leaving her with all his clothes that he left behind at her apartment. As soon as they called it off, she brought two suitcases full of his clothes to Barney’s house and said that he and I could have anything we wanted.
At first, Barney and I didn’t think much of it – until we realized that Marshall was Italian. He has this affinity for high-end labels and is savvy with his menswear labels. Lucky for both of us, he is close to our size.
When we opened the suitcases, it was like Christmas day: Prada shoes, Moschino sweaters, Etro blazers, Dolce & Gabbana shirts, Nice Collective jackets, unknown Italian brands that Marshall took straight from his homeland and a whole avalanche of other pieces of fine fashion. It was like the sample closet of GQ threw up in Barney’s living room – and I was willing to swim in it.
Marshall also had this major obsession for G-Star. He had at least eight jackets from the popular uber-chic utilitarian label. G-Star isn’t exactly my style, but if it’s free, then I’m game.
We rummaged through the fashion remnants of Marshall and Lily’s broken relationship and Barney attacked all the G-Star jackets. I, on the other hand, chose a Hugo Boss V-neck S.W.A.T. team-like sweater, a brown banded collar coat (from a Japanese designer that I can’t remember) and my favorite, a G-Star tuxedo-style blazer. Now I know I said G-Star wasn’t my style, but this piece was different, the trinkets usually found on G-Star apparel were very minimal save a small silver tab and a faint etching of some random number on the cuff. As soon as I saw it, I knew it was for me.
Barney and I were happy as can be with our haute garage sale finds and we endlessly thanked Lily for breaking up with Marshall.
Fast-forward a week later and Lily texts Barney saying, “I feel guilty, I want to give Marshall his stuff back.” Barney, being the smart guy that he is, didn’t answer the text.
A couple more days later, Lily texts Barney again saying, “Marshall and I are going to work things out, can he come by your place and pick up his stuff?” Again, Barney was smart and didn’t answer.
By this time, Barney and I do not want to give up these items. I had already dry cleaned the G-Star blazer and I am more than ready to wear it. Barney is having a field day with his new G-Star jackets (he also snagged the Nice Collective one as well).
So the ethical question here is: Do we give the stuff back? Also, who is at fault here? Did Lily act too quickly?
Barney says that we can give the stuff that we didn’t take back to Marshall. I agreed with him saying, “Maybe he won’t notice that some things are gone.”
Lily may have acted a little haphazardly, but we should be able to keep at least one thing due to her hasty actions. Furthermore, we accepted those items as parting gifts of a failed relationship and I was raised not to accept gifts with the utmost humility and graciousness.
Lastly, I don’t think that Marshall would want these pieces of clothing. They will be a constant reminder to him of “that time Lily and him broke up because he was visiting a not-so-PG website.” And who would want that? Plus, I already dry cleaned the aforementioned G-Star blazer, so depending on how you look at it, it is already mine.
She hasn't texted Barney since then, so that leads us to believe that Marshall isn't really dying to have his clothes back - which is fine by me.
Okay, okay – being the sensitive guy I am, I will probably return all the items. But that doesn’t mean I can’t wear it a couple of times before I do so.
I really feel for Lily and Marshall, but I can't help but think that it is so great to be a selfish single guy reaping the benefits of a relationship that is on the rocks. It will be a happy Valentine's Day for me. A very happy one indeed.
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