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Obama, Mow-Boma: lunar rover, lawn rovers cut new trails in inaugural parade
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In all the excitement about NASA's new lunar rover tail-end appearance in President Barack Obama's inaugural parade, you might have missed the other cutting-edge vehicles strollin' down Pennsylvania Avenue. Waving brooms and toilet plungers, the mighty, mighty World Famous Lawn Rangers from "Amazing" Arcola, Illinois, proved that no matter what your level of talent, "yes you can" wind up with the movers and shakes in Washington, D.C.
The precision lawn mower drill team showed up in red graduation gowns, cowboy hats and their traditional "Lawn Ranger" masks to amble through a series of dazzling, high-precision moves like "walkin' the dog", a wide-leaning (blame the beer) turn in a circle. How did the Presidential Inauguration Committee decide they were among the groups that "....embody the best of our nation's history, diversity and commitment to service"?
Good question. The answer is obvious: pull, baby, pull. Shown above: a non-presidential Obama waving a toilet plunger at Chicago's 2003 St. Patrick's Day parade. He met the Lawn Rangers, they gave him a plunger, and he became an official marching Ranger.
Obama's not the only famous Ranger, however. Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist Dave Barry is a proud, proud Ranger. He marched as an "embedded reporter" pushing a unit decorated with, of course, a bed.
Barry shared this life-changing experience with us in his report from the scene. (Barry's also a rock star, and somehow there's gotta be a way to combine the lawn mower and rock star skills, doncha think?)
The simple term "Pulitzer Prize-winning" doesn't encompass all that Barry means to South Florida. He's a major icon, as linked forever to the Florida lifestyle as the palmetto bug. That's the polite name for a huge, flying cockroach that's also called "the skunk roach" for very good reasons.
In fact, NASA officials, who are working on a new heavy-lift vehicle, should have scampered over to Barry to talk about the palmetto bugs. They're so big that they have definite potential as heavy-lift vehicles, and there's enough of them, free for the taking, that the supply will never, ever run out in Florida.
As you can easily see, the Lawn Rangers' turf is huge, reaching from the corner gas station to the Oval Office, with a stop for a brewski or two along the way. Beginning politicians take note: if you doubt the importance of someone, just ask yourself: can you see this person waving a toilet plunger and becoming say, president of the United States, or even a member of an elite lawn mower drill team?
Yes, you can!
The Arcola team has a long and venerable history, beginning with the Broom Corn Festival parade in tiny (pop: less than 3,000, give or take) Arcola, "Broom Corn Capital of the World" . They've strutted their stuff for 28 years now. (And if you look closely at their stuff in the video, you'll see why they weren't asked to merge with the Jesse White Tumblers for ahh, joint maneuvers during the parade.)
The Lawn Rangers website proclaims that they've made guest appearances in many places, most of which most likely have never been the same:
- Benton Harbor, Michigan Blossom Time Parade
- Mow – Town (Detroit) Thanksgiving Day Parade
- Chicago Holiday Parades and St Patrick’s Day Parades
- St. Louis St. Patrick’s Day Parade
- Indianapolis Indy 500 Parade
- Springfield Ill. State Fair Parades
- Canton Pro Football Hall of Fame Parade
- Phoenix Fiesta Bowl Parades
- San Diego Holiday Bowl Parades
They're flexible, as shown in this parade. Their "banner babes" became "banner Abes" to honor the great state of Illinois (whose cows are a leader in methane production) and President Abraham Lincoln. History, environmental awareness, tradition, physical fitness (sorta) and a great motto to inspire the kids ("You're only young once, but you can always be immature.")--the Lawn Rangers have got it all.
Except--they apparently don't have an entry featuring America's space program. Oooops.
I'd suggest an entry featuring say, our Apollo lunar missions, but that gets us into the word "moon." And with these guys, let alone Barry, perhaps we might be better off not expanding on the idea of a moon entry, just letting it pass on by.
But surely, there's something you can do to honor space? A bottle rocket, at least? C'mon, guys!
Here's my challenge to the Lawn Rangers: add a space entry in time for your Fourth of July appearances. After all, you're now international stars, so speak out for space! In fact, I'd even be willing to design a parade move for you, something that will bring tears to the eyes of many.
If you'd like to see pictures of the Lawn Rangers' vehicles, the PIC has a photo display from the parade here. About the video: I found another one that's longer, but it featured some snotty guy from MSNBC who called the Lawn Rangers' appearance "ridiculous." Pffft. Tell it to the president, who seemed to enjoy the whole thing, buddy!
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