Labels limit the achievements of our children

April 16, 12:45 AMNY Homeschooling ExaminerKristina Daniele

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I recently had a discussion with an fourth-grade teacher. We were sitting in a mutual friend's house, and my daughter was being her usual curious, active, busy self. She was playing with our friend's three boys- bouncing on the furniture, racing cars down the hallway, and stopping near me every once in a while to ask, "whaddya doooing?" It was refreshing to see her so active because over the last few weeks we have not been able to engage in much fun.

And then my teacher friend said something that made my blood boil. She looked at me, with a very concerned look on her face and uttered the words:

"Man, she is so hyperactive, are you going to talk to the doctor about that?"

It took me a minute to process what she was saying, (although later I realized that if I had said as much she would have determined that I suffered from an auditory processing disorder), but when I finally did I simply replied, "there is no cure for being two except turning three..."

That evening I sat on the sofa with my husband, watching my daughter build a castle while trying to row her cardboard box boat down the hall, and told him what happened. We both sat in silence for a while and then he asked, "you don't think there is anything wrong with her, right?"

I couldn't blame him for asking. After all, when an educator makes an observation about your child's behavior it is almost impossible to push it aside because educators are trained to know this stuff, right? Every parent worries about their child's behavior. We do so from conception- is he kicking enough; is she smiling enough; and so on.

But then I thought back to my years teaching- the few years that I had- and I remembered hearing parents tell me that their child had been on medication for ADHD or ADD since 3rd or 4th grade, often times they were younger, and I became worried. I thought about what a typical day is like for my daughter and I realized that surely enough, by the limited definition of ADHD/ADD, my daughter would definitely be labeled. I would be told that she had difficulty concentrating and that she jumped from one task to another.

She will be three later this month and this behavior is normal. It is normal. Most children have attention spans of roughly 3-5 minutes per year of age. For a three year old that equates to about 9-15 minutes of concentration on a task. My daughter has sat for longer than that listening to a story, playing Go Fish!, painting, and drawing. Sometimes she focuses too much on projects and I sometimes worry that she will get frustrated. I let her go at her own pace and I don't worry if she cannot sit for an entire lesson.

Unfortunately, this medicated society is filled with children who are being labeled and limited. They are being told that they should not be inquisitive, or excited, or anxious. They are being told that they need to be docile and manageable. This scares me. My daughter is very smart. She learns things quickly and when she has, moves on. These are traits that I value.

Maybe there is a medicine to treat those who like to prescribe meds.