Parenting 101: how to have stress-free meal times

August 5, 12:49 PMParenting ExaminerKaren Deerwester

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Stress and meals don't go together!  Worrying about picky eaters, those vegetables or getting your child to eat what you want when you want him is guaranteed to create high drama and strain an otherwise simple family experience.

Renowned pediatrician, T. Berry Brazelton, has told parents for decades since the book To Listen to a Child that it's not your job to make your child eat - it's your job to offer healthy food, that's all.  Here's Dr. Brazelton's N.Y. Times interview "Advice on Childhood Nutrition".

The Mayo Clinic concurs in 20 Tips for Picky Eaters: "prevent mealtime battles one bite at a time". Everyone loses with meal time power struggles.  Power struggles raise the likelihood of raising a finicky eater or creating lifelong food issues.

Use these short reminders to keep focused on what really matters at meal time:

1. It's your child's choice to eat or not eat.  You provide balanced, healthy food at regular times - breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack, and dinner.  Your child can and will eat when she's hungry.
2. Eliminate junk calories and filler snacks.  Whether it's because of a busy schedule on-the-run or an act of parent desperation, it's easy to give your child anything she'll eat to get through the day.  That's like jamming slugs in a parking meter; it just breaks the meter.  Your child is just learning to experience the connection between hunger and satisfying food.  Give up  the cookies, crackers, juice and other quick fixes.  With time and practice, your child will know the right fuel for her body.
3. Be a positive role model.  Look what's in your shopping cart and in your pantry.  Is that what you want your child to eat?  Your child is watching you and learning what and how to eat from you.  No need for lectures.  Make your dinner table a place your child feels welcome and curious.  Your child wants to be included in a family routine.  Being together is just as important as the food you serve.

Give up the myth that it's your job to get the right food into your child.  Relax a little and you'll enjoy more.  Meal times are times to savor the things we love - food and family!