The entitlement-free child: is it ever too late to teach children respect and responsibility?

May 26, 2:29 PMParenting ExaminerKaren Deerwester

Previous Next

2 comments Print Email RSS Subscribe

Subscribe

Get alerts when there is a new article from the Parenting Examiner. Read Examiner.com's terms of use.

Email Address   Include other special offers from Examiner.com Terms of Use

 

The Entitlement-Free Child, how to raise confident and responsible kids in a Me! Mine! Now! culture, is a hot topic these days.  After dozens of interviews this last month (Thanks to super publicist Emily Mullen at Sourcebooks), one question that came up in every interview was: is it ever too late? 

It's never too late to raise kids who are emotionally literate and compassionate towards others, who also know how to manage age-appropriate problems.  Of course, it's always easier to start raising "entitlement-free children" in early children (that's the goal of the book);  but it's never too late - even if you're married to an entitlement personality!

The best strategy for older children who are used to getting what they want with entitlement demands is:

1. Have patience and be a be a good role model.  It takes longer to "unteach" entitlement attitudes than to teach entitlement-free the first time around.  Practice with small manageable goals instead of a personality overhaul.  For example, give 48 hour waiting periods to purchases over $10.00 - discuss the difference to getting something "right now" and determining the value of that object 48 hours later. 
2. Give your child something "bigger to belong to" - family, neighborhood, planet.  Entitlement-free thinking teaches children that other people have needs and they can make a difference.  The power of living that message will neutralize the most entitlement child because they want to belong.  They want others to care about them and they want to believe they can make a vital contribution to the world.

Here's an excerpt from the book, The Entitlement-Free Child, chapter "The Entitlement-Free Future":

Caring about others and caring about tomorrow create the entitlement-free balance.  Children feel safe, strong and capable when they belong to something bigger than themselves and bigger than this moment.  The entitlement-free child is connected to others, and she matters to others.  Likewise, the experience of living with others in a shared community strengthens who she is.  A reciprical connection, give-and-take, opens the way for a lasting, loving relationship instead of what-can-you-do-for-me-right-now. 

Join other parents who stand up for more...an entitlement-free future!