Does one-armed children's TV host scare kids?

February 26, 2:26 PMParenting ExaminerKaren Deerwester

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People with disabilities should be seen and heard ...by children.

The Today Show ran a story today about the BBC children's TV host who was born with one hand - One-armed TV host scares kids, parents say.  It seems some parents are worried that children will be frightened at the sight of this vivacious, child-friendly woman who was born without one hand.  The TV host, Cerrie Burnell, made a decision 7 years ago not to wear a prosthetic arm at work.

Here's the controversy as described by ABC News and SpinTelly.com:

Not only should people with disabilities be seen and heard, but I believe that we perpetuate entitlement attitudes when we try to insulate young children from difficult topics.  Here is an excerpt on a similar situation from my upcoming book, The Entitlement-Free Child (Sourcebooks, April 2009)...

Entitlement Issues:  Disabilities are a difficult topic for young children to understand.  Children can't understand why a person is different and it may frighten them.  Ordinary daily life (like a TV show) should not be complicated with images of complex, adult subjects.  Entitlement parents prefer not to expose their children to things that might disturb them.

Entitlement-Free Perspective:  Children are naturally observant and curious.  The entitlement-free child is rewarded for asking questions, even ones that make adults uncomfortable.  He learns that adults are willing and able to address fears about the unknown or unfamiliar in direct, age-appropriate ways.  Adults help the entitlement-free child learn about the world as it is, not a sanitized version of real life. 

Do not try to predict the distress of your child in order to avoid indelicate situations.  You can answer any question or address any feeling as it arises.  Believe in the ability of your child to find ways to personally integrate complex ideas and feelings.

ENTITLEMENT-FREE STRATEGIES

1. Wait before anticipating problems.  Children often take situations at face value when adults are expecting profoundly difficult questions.  Your child may not have any questions or concerns.
2. Watch your unconscious assumptions and body language.  Your child senses your emotional ambiguity long before you do.  Clarify your adult discomfort separate from any possible reaction from your child.
3. Be ready with simple explanations for your child.  Find the phrases that are easy and comfortable for you.  Start with the facts - yes, not everyone is born with the same body.  Talk about similarities and differences.
4. Follow your child's lead.  It's OK to say "I don't know" or "Let's find out."  Children's questions are original and genuine.  Answer simply and honestly.  Your child will ask for more information if he needs more.
5. Teach sensitivity even when you're not sure what's politically correct.  Kid's say the darnedest things!  Help your child to consider other people's experiences and feelings as they learn to appreciate and respect differences.

Bravo to the BBC and to Cerrie Burnell for helping all of us - parents, teachers and TV viewers - to live in a more inclusive world!