Karen Deerwester

Parenting Examiner
Too much parenting advice undermining your PC (parent/child) confidence? They’re KIDS – funny, sweet, confused and confusing! Karen’s perspective (parenting author & educator at FamilyTimeInc.com) will help you regain your optimism and your playfulness while still being the kind of grown-up your child needs

  

Examiner Feeds

These websites were picked by the Parenting Examiner as useful resources.
parenting.com - 8 hrs ago New Yorker parenting humor - 9 hrs ago New Yorker parenting humor - 11 hrs ago parenting.com - 14 hrs ago parenting.com - 14 hrs ago

Toys you won't find at your local big-box store

Easy Cook-with Kids Recipes

Links

Karen's books and website

National Examiners

Kristen Houghton
Relationship Examiner
Most Recent Post
Holidays, love, and food!
Jamie Van Eaton
Low Carb Examiner
Most Recent Post
Top bacon gifts for Christmas
 
 

(i.e. Los Angeles hiking, Los Angeles parenting)

Advice on bullying

August 23, 1:41 PM
by Karen Deerwester, Parenting Examiner
 
 
Most parents, teachers and children will at some time have to confront the problem of bullying.  As mentioned in the "10 Tips for a Successful School Year", don't wait for a situation to occur before teaching your child how to respond to bullying.  Start now - start young. 

The earlier post discussed research that suggests a connection between parenting and bullying.  Parents should monitor how they talk and teach their children.  Give your child age-appropriate power to speak up for her needs and to become a successful problem solver.  A healthy sense of personal mastery and knowing how and where to get help goes a long way in being capable in the world. 

Here is important advice to help kids deal with bullies from Education.com and the Nemours Foundation:

  1. Avoid the bully and use the buddy system.  Stick together.  Stand together - united and strong.
  2. Hold the anger.  Emotional reactions (anger, fear, crying, getting upset) may only further engage the bully.  Experts recommend a "poker face" while in front of the bully (not laughing or smiling either).  This isn't to minimize emotional reactions; emotions should be communicated and managed after the situation is safe again.
  3. Act brave, walk brave, and ignore the bully.  The recommendation to to "firmly and clearly tell the bully to stop, then walk away".  Practice non-victim body language.  The goal is for the bully to get "bored with trying to bother you".
  4. Tell an adult.  Grown-ups, whether parents, teachers, school administrators, or other adults should be informed to support and create safe places for children.
  5. Talk about it.  Silence only perpetuates a feeling of helplessness and powerlessness.  Home, school and neighborhoods want to be tuned in and create opportunities to listen.
  6. Remove the incentives.   The experts say, "if the bully is demanding your lunch money, start bringing your lunch. If he's trying to get your music player, don't bring it to school".  It makes sense to think two steps ahead of the bully so don't stay in a predictable predicament.

Of course, teaching children to deal with bullying is not easy.  But as parents and educators, we can do our best to understand the dynamics of bullying, to be informed, and to utilize the most effective responses when bullying occurs.

For more info: Science Daily recommends numerous resources including the award-winning novel, Don't Feed the Bully, for creative strategies to outwit bullies.

 


Topics: parenting , children
   Subscribe   Feed
 
 

Comments

Name:  
Email Address:  
Comments:  

More from Parenting Examiner

Christmas activities for playgroups and playdates

December 1, 6:33 AM
This article kicks off a new Examiner Series on Playgroups and Playdates.  You'll find great suggestions for music, crafts and games for at-home playdates or for center-based groups (as in Mommy and Me, Daddy and Me, Grandparent and Me, and... Read More
Topics: family , children , preschool , Playgroups and playdates

Thanksgiving message for parents

November 26, 1:46 PM
Dear Moms and Dads,Parenting can be pure joy - laughter and sweetness.  It's also messy - dirt and poop and buggy body parts.  Sometimes, parenting is frightening - middle of the night fevers and daytime dangers. On this Thanksgiving Day, I... Read More
Topics: parenting

The Gratitude Campaign: saying thank you to the military

November 24, 6:42 AM
Parents have the power to create a culture of respect and gratitude for their children that extends beyond immediate friends and family.  Let's give thanks this year, not just for toys and turkey.  Let's teach children how to acknowledge the... Read More
Topics: family

Holiday toys that celebrate your child's individuality

November 19, 6:51 AM
Toys harness the essence of every age and stage of childhood.  Toddlers need to move.  Preschoolers discover limitless imagination. School-age children understand the nuances of playing-by-the-rules and the intracacies of design.  The... Read More
Topics: children

Thanksgiving conversation topics for kids

November 18, 3:05 PM
You can avoid Thanksgiving dinner boredom (misbehavior too) by planning dinner conversations that engage your child's curiosity.  Take some time before Thanksgiving dinner to discuss what your child wants to know about others at the dinner... Read More
Topics: family

Thanksgiving recipes to cook with kids

November 12, 6:42 AM
Yes, kitchen is still the hearth of a home and food is the symbol of celebration (and yes, love).   Your children want your time and attention so include them in the planning and preparation of Thanksgiving dinner, instead of cooking alone. ... Read More
Topics: family , children

Turkey handprint: Thanksgiving crafts for kids

November 11, 1:50 PM
 Need a hostess gift or table decorations for Thanksgiving dinner?  Nothing beats those infamous "turkey handprints".  Doesn't matter if your child made one last year - her hand is bigger and his favorite colors have changed. ... Read More
Topics: family , children

Global Wonders DVD's: gift idea for preschoolers

November 3, 4:44 PM
Global Wonders is a new video series created to expand children's cultural awareness of people and places around the world.   According to GlobalWonders.com:Global Wonders inspires children to discover, share and compare everyday customs, music,... Read More
Topics: family , children

Lessons on voting for raising responsible kids

October 30, 4:04 PM
What does democracy feel like?  Millions of American voters may be feeling either exhilaration or despair next Tuesday depending on the outcome of the election.  Voting is a responsibility that carries very definite consequences.  Next... Read More
Topics: family , children , Election 2008