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Oh behave! etiquette for air travel
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We’ve all experienced flights from hell – you know the ones – sitting next to the guy who hasn’t held a bar of soap in what seems like three weeks (and Lord help you if he’s stowing his bag in the overhead); a baby screaming in your ear; a toddler kick, kick, kicking the back of your seat until you want to turn around and do a little kicking yourself... well, ahem, you get the drift...
On a flight not too long ago, I sat in the nether regions of Siberia (translation: wayyyy back in steerage) with my companion next to me in the window seat. I worked on the in-flight crossword, all the while with one eyeball examining my fellow passengers as they made their way down the aisle to find their seats (hoping against hope that the seat next to me would remain vacant). Turning the corner from the boarding ramp walked the Colossus of Rhodes. I just knew it – without a doubt – that this ginormous behemoth was my seat mate. (My own personal Murphy’s Law: the largest passenger will inevitably be my neighbor.) No longer making any pretext of perusing the puzzle, I watched the excruciatingly slow progress of the line thread its way toward me. Little droplets of sweat began to form on my brow. My fingers tapped on the armrest (for what indubitably would be my last contact with this armrest). You can guess what happened... of course he stopped at our row. Without so much as a smile or apology, he stowed his bag and sat down. I lost sight of the armrest forever and was confined to about half of my normal seat width. My companion was thereby also squished like a pancake into the window.
For sure, air travel can be stressful. Scores of people crammed liked sardines in a can for hours – definitely not my idea of fun. Especially when people have differing views as to appropriate rules of behavior. Here are some helpful rules to make sure you and your fellow passengers can get through a flight without losing your sanity.
Let the Force (field) be with you!
Pretend there is a personal bubble extending from every plane passenger [at least!] six inches into space (sorta like a sci-fi force field). Respect that space!
Wait until you are in the air to recline your seat. Ease it back slowly so as not to knock the person behind you.
Fun for the Family
It’s difficult traveling with young children and I’ve certainly done my share. I’m surprised how many people don’t know the main reason why so many babies cry on a plane. I had one kind (or overly aggravated) soul impart this nugget of helpful information to me 20 years ago: most of the time, it’s because their poor, little ears are so painful from the air pressure. (Imagine not being able to pop your ears!) Yes, it can be dealt with. Utilizing a bottle of milk or a pacifier (especially during take-off and touch-down) can relieve that pain just like it does with an adult when they yawn.
Take control of your toddlers as well, that they don’t kick the backs of the seats in front of them or run rampant in the aisles. Bring plenty of distractions (ie., books, crayons, or travel games) to keep them amused and occupied. Personal DVD players with their favorite movie can be a lifesaver!
Chatterbox
If you’re not one to carry on a three-hour chat with a stranger, here’s an easy way to avoid unwanted conversation: "I'm sorry – I’ve taken a sleep aid". This phrase, coupled with an eye mask or sunglasses, usually does the trick.
And please don’t be that person! If your conversation seems one-sided or you're getting one word answers – take the hint! It's nice to meet interesting people on a plane, but not everyone is looking to make new friends – they might want to sleep or work – even if there’s no tangible evidence. Some people use in-flight time to think about work problems and projects. Or they just might not be in the mood to talk. Not everyone is a social butterfly.
Similarly, be aware of the noise you're making – if you're sitting next to a friend, talk softly.
B.O.
If you travel frequently, chances are you've encountered charming individuals who have not had a recent bath. Please, shower before your flight! Take along a sample-sized deodorant for those interminable trips and do a little wash-up in the airport restroom between flights.
Don't take your shoes off if you know you have smelly feet. Also, be light on the cologne or perfume – fellow travelers may not share your appreciation of the scent and some may be allergic to the ingredients. Nothing’s worse than sneezing for a prolonged length of time with no escape from the source of irritation.
Arm Wrestling
For heaven’s sakes, please don’t hog the armrest. Can’t we all just get along? Don’t steal the armrest the second your seat mate raises his or her arm and if your seat mate has taken over the arm rest, politely ask him to give you a little extra room.
Gargantuans
If you’re on the larger size like Colossus, here are some hints: Yes, it’s more expensive to fly first-class or business, but try checking for availabilities of those seats on infrequently traveled days. Surprisingly, costs may be significantly lower. Also explain your situation when booking or checking in and you might get a free upgrade to those classes.
Another trick: if you’re booking yourself online, most airlines let you choose your seat assignment. Choose an exit row if you’re unusually tall. Consider buying two coach seats if you’re horizontally-challenged. A great site to find the best (and roomiest seats) is SeatGuru.com. Included are cabin diagrams with in-depth guides to that denote seats with limited recline, legroom ergonomics, entertainment options, power outlets and armrests.
Aisle of Man
Don't be aggressive when boarding or disembarking. It’s not a cattle stampede or the Boston Marathon. There is no reason to push or shove people trying to stow or retrieve their luggage from overhead bins. Let the flight attendant know if you've have a tight schedule to catch another flight. A flight attendant has the ability to move your seat up to begin with or help you get off first.
Go Stuff It
Don’t bring more than your allotted amount for carry-on luggage. We’ve all seen them – those people that look like they by-passed the check-in counter altogether and have carried on every personal item they’ve ever owned.
Stow your bags in front of your seat if possible to avoid having to buck the flow upon disembarkation. Consolidate your stuff before you get on the plane and have everything you want to utilize on the flight already out so other people can get to their seats and you don’t hold up traffic.
On Call
Don't be call button happy – flight attendants have more passengers duties on the flight besides having to cater to your every whim. It's usually a good idea not to irritate the people that have the ability to make your flight comfortable (or miserable!) Only push the button if you have a good reason.
W.C.
Book an aisle seat if you know you must go to the bathroom every hour. It's irritating for other people to have to wake up and be climbed over. Don't make the person next to you climb over you should they need to get up. It's rude. Get out of your seat so they can get out.
Attention Attendants
And finally, have a little respect for the flight attendants who wait on travelers day in and day out. The two top things that irritate flight attendants: passengers that drink too much (which opens up a whole new set of problems) and those that hit on them. If you think you’re God’s gift to flight attendants, rein it in. A subtle smile goes much farther than overt obnoxiousness.
See you out there in the skies!
Follow me on Twitter: www.twitter.com/kellyskelly
Here's a great article on airplane etiquette by the LA Travel Examiner.
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