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Movie review: 'Paranormal Activity' - (scariest movie ever..? or scariest. movie. ever.)
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Paranormal Activity/2009 - Directed by: Orin Peli
Starring: Katie Featherston, Micah Sloat and Michael Bayouth
The Plot: Ever felt like your house was haunted? Do the Tommy Lee thing and set up a video camera in your bedroom. If you survive the haunting the videos you post on Youtube will be appraised by the sharpest minds our online world has to offer...
A young couple decides to capture on film whom or what may be causing some small-scale spookery in their tidy suburban home. When one of them decides to antagonize monsieur entity into committing a little more action for the camera the phantom has no other course than to antagonize them back. But is it really a ghost? Or could it be something far, far, worse....?
The Good: I'm a skeptic. Not of the paranormal, no, I'm a skeptic when it comes to the ability of almost any horror movie in this lamentable era to actually arouse anything close to fear or a state of absolute goose-pimplery. I'm a skeptic when horror critics start calling any movie "the scariest movie ever made".
Why am I so skeptical? I'm a horror movie fanatic. I've seen thousands of these films and so precious few do anything but go bump in the night. Paranormal Activity bumps in the night. Sure it does. With all the murderous force of a dock pile driver.
The real paranormal aspect of this low-budget haunt-flick is that the filmmakers make horror gold out of the mundane. They film the movie in an actual house, (design? Pottery Barn Modern if I'm not mistaken...) not a film set. They hire two actors that don't need much more than to look totally sh*t-stain-scared when the action calls for it. They set up a digital camera, make a few noises, shut a few doors, and somehow all of this will have an audience - any audience - screaming out loud, clutching each other for support, and yelling their very best advice at the two people on screen even though there's just no theoretical way that they'll ever be able to hear or heed these warnings...
I have to give Orin Peli a little more credit than that though. Sure he used what some would call cheap parlor tricks to get an audience hopping out of their seats, but what he did before all that was commit to building a strong aura of malevolence throughout the first third of the film. The movie's not scary just yet in these early stages, but boy does it ever feel unpleasant. What comes next can only be described as worse... Much, much worse as it turns out.
I can sum up Paranormal Activity in this one statement: I have never been to any horror movie before this one where the audience reacted as strongly as the one I saw this film with last night.
People. Were. Screaming.
And not just a few lowly horror pussies either. A healthy portion of the sold-out midnight crowd were SCREAMING IN UNISON. And not once or twice at all the designated jump moments - no, this screaming pretty much happened routinely, unexpectedly. I thought that kind of reaction only happened in other cities where the people aren't as suave and sophisticated (can we say pretentious) as they are up here in Seattle. Guess not. My city-mates did holler last night. Something that never happened once during the Blair Witch era. Paranormal Activity earned every inch of that collective noise.
The last thing I'll say about this movie concerns the last moment of the movie. Paranormal Activity ends with a bang-bang and most definitely not a kiss-kiss. (there's my Shane Black reference for the week) They saved the big scare for the last frame this time folks. When the credits roll everybody I saw the movie with clapped, laughed, and patted each other on the back glad to be back in the real world again... Me included.
The Bad: If I have one small mark of criticism with Paranormal Activity I think they could have explored the house more. The bedroom is the focus of all the evil in the home - and every night we spend in it is much, much worse than the last one - but I could have used a few more late night expeditions to the attic, or the pantry, or the basement... Not that I'm complaining.
The Fugly: And Paramount flirted with remaking this flick... Don't fix what isn't broken you millionaire schmucks!. And you didn't, so uh, I guess it wasn't so fugly after all... Smart move Paramount.
The Verdict: This is the spot in the pill-popper infomercial that would read: "Warning: Paranormal Activity may cause periodical tourette syndrome and sudden, rapid, bowel movements. Prolonged exposure to Paranormal Activity may even result in paralysis and madness. Ask your Doctor if Paranormal Activity is right for you..."
But what you really want to know is if the movie's worth getting up and going down to the theater tonight at midnight to watch the bloody thing. (sorry, midnight showings only for this one folks) To which I say sure it is. Is it the scariest movie ever made? That's debatable. But I will tell you this little insider tidbit: The buddy I took with me to see this movie with last night drove home with the lights on in the cab of his truck. I'm not kidding.
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