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Survival of the snooziest Part II: 2001: A Space Odyssey
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Love how they made this film look "busy" in the 1968 advertising.
There might just be a very good reason why when any film, (Like the hilarious Zoolander. There you go Van Eaton) or any television show, (That episode of The Simpsons Deep Space Homer) spoofs 2001: A Space Odyssey it's always the ape scene or the docking scene. (Homer spins weightless in space a single potato chip spins into his mouth...) I think the reason goes beyond how iconic these moments in this film are. The reason why the ape scene is so clearly the most popular scene in 2001 is because it's near the beginning of the film. These are the precious few minutes of this movie where everyone is still fully awake and enjoying the picture. Nobody parodies the last two acts of 2001 because honestly very few people make it this far into the movie, maybe even the filmmakers spoofing it...
Last night as I watched this classic sci-fi film I can honestly say I appreciated it. I appreciated how groundbreaking it must have been in 1968. How nobody outside of film school will ever be allowed to make another movie like this one. I appreciated how meticulous a filmmaker Stanley Kubrick can be and I appreciated the aesthetics of the movie. Kubrick's movies are usually good-looking offspring, 2001 might be his supermodel. But I feel I must be absolutely honest about my experience with this film. I had one voice chanting in my head the entire 148 minute run-time "please keep me interested please keep me interested please keep me interested." Around the 44 minute mark I began to dip in and out of light sleep. At the 73 minute mark I caught my second wind, but it was still a marathon race with the clock to make it to the finish line. (Even if you do fall asleep during 2001 it's still extremely difficult to tell that you did. Very often when a viewer regains his/her consciousness the exact same thing is still on the screen, leaving a snoozer to ponder if he/her had ever actually slipped into a small coma or not. My practical advice to a Space Odyssey newbie is look to the running time counter on your DVD player. This little technological marvel will be your best friend and guide during this film. If the clock says 1:48:35 and then it suddenly reads 2:07:13 in what might seem like a blink in time, you've just fallen asleep. Worry not newbie, I assure you you have missed nothing)
I did finish 2001: A Space Odyssey. It has been accomplished. Am I a better man because of it? The vote's not in just yet. I will say that fans of this movie in particular try their best to make it appear like anyone who can't get into, or even worse, can't understand 2001, are intellectual termites. We need sensory stimulation, something tangible, a naked girl even, to enjoy a movie. After seeing this movie again, almost the entire thing, I can readily admit I'd rather be that guy that just doesn't care. I don't need this movie in my film resume. It's too uninteresting. It's too long. It's the cinematic equivalent to being trapped in an elevator for four days. It's boring. And I know the 2001 defense team will point out that it's actually me that's being obvious and boring, and that there is great merit in this film that someone at my station will never truly grasp. And they're exactly right, and I'm totally comfortable with that. If I am ignorant, and ignorance is bliss, it's still a much better place to be than sitting in front of 2001: A Space Odyssey one more time in my short lifetime...
So ends Part II of Survival of the Snooziest. It's a cryin' shame too because I screened Kubrick's movie first because it was the one film of the two I was actually looking the most forward to seeing in this contest. Tonight I'll return to the land of the heavy eyelids one last time when I watch Star Trek the Motion Picture. Stay tuned, and for the love of Pete, stay awake.
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