Marcie Pickelsimer is the adoptive parent of two boys from two different countries. She is a former English teacher who loves being a stay-at-home mom and a freelance writer. She lives in the Chicago suburbs in a beautiful old bungalow with her family and the obligatory black lab.

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Sterility in adoption; I'm an emotional wreck

5 comments

July 10, 4:34 PM

by Marcie Pickelsimer, Chicago Adoption Examiner

For the first time yesterday I felt very distant from my second son. He is still in Guatemala with his foster mother so he is, in reality, very distant from us. However, as I waited for over an hour for copies of our passports to be apostilled for the second time the whole adoption process felt very sterile.

Our first adoption was so emotional and I was attached to my vivacious Russian born son from the moment I saw his picture. We traveled blind in December to meet our second son and he was only 8 days old. I have yet to see his personality but we knew right away that AJ was going to have spark.

As I sat contemplating the two different experiences a very pregnant woman toddled into the room and I was struck by how uncomfortable she looked at eight months pregnant and how fine I was at eight months "paper pregnant".

Her feet were so swollen that she HAD to wear flip-flops. I, on the other hand, was anxiously awaiting my sealed papers so that I could head to the Consulate de Guatemala and then to meet my father for drinks at the Chi Bar.

The adoption process can be very mundane and sterile...quite unemotional at times because all you seem to do is sign and seal papers. But it can also turn you into an emotional wreck because although you desperately want to be parents there seems to be no end in sight.

A pregnancy lasts 9 months right? How long does it take to adopt? Apparently it all depends upon who makes the rules.

I just wish I could break them.

Marcie writes about adoption everyday at A Child Chosen.

For More Information: Nuestro Muchcho Del Bebe

On Why the Bebe Does Not Have a Name

New Pictures of the Bebe

Topics: adoption , chicago , guatemala , russia

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Chicago Museum of Science and Industry decking halls

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December 2, 2:00 PM

Extended hours, free days, two-for-one admissions...what more could you "wish" for during the holidays?Money is tight for everyone right now and we all know that. Even businesses and community organizations are catching on quickly. In fact,... Read More
Topics: chicago , christmas

The Gay Adoption Debate

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November 30, 7:55 PM

In early November Arkansas voters approved a ban on adoption by unmarried couples. I wrote briefly about this on the Chicago Examiner stating that in 1999 Arkansas's Child Welfare Agency Review Board established a policy that banned gay men and women... Read More
Topics: adoption , foster care , orphanage , gay , domestic adoption , parenting , FLorida , Arkansas , Mississippi , A Child Chosen

We are the same...parents

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November 30, 6:22 PM

I've been thinking a lot about parenting lately. My oldest and dearest friend gave birth just a few days ago to a boy and I am so excited to meet him next week. I feel horrible that I have not been to see her yet (she only lives 40 minutes away) but... Read More
Topics: adoption , listening to parents , parenting

Twilight a good lesson for teen girls

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November 25, 7:51 PM

I finished reading Twilight this summer after my god-daughter lent it to me. I am still tracking down the second one. It's a hard one to find in my local library. I have to say that it was a well written YA book but I had to struggle through it, as I... Read More
Topics: Twilight Mania , books , Twilight , movie

KidZui kids vote on holiday gifts

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November 24, 9:16 PM

With holiday shopping upon us this week, millions of parents will hit the stores wondering what their children REALLY want for gifts. Parents can guess, toy makers can predict but kids can tell us. This holiday season, look to KidZui, The Internet for... Read More
Topics: disney , toys , christmas , kidzui , holiday shopping , gifts

Adoption Names

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November 22, 12:04 PM

When we decided on Gus's name we thought that it would be the perfect name to suit him. We kept a portion of his birth mother's name (and of course, his) and made it his first name. It was perfect. It is different. It is part of who he is. It is... Read More
Topics: baby , names

Letting go of expectations

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November 21, 10:39 AM

When we first adopted AJ I had the greatest expectations for him; he was going to be the perfect child. He would learn English at a rapid rate, fall madly in love with us, and of course, adapt to everything because all kids are resiliant.Well, none of... Read More
Topics: adoption , anxiety , sensory integration

Make your own sensory toys

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November 19, 3:42 PM

Its easier than you think to create a Tactile Sensory Diet in your own home, especially during the summer. And, the best part is...it can be completely free and/or cost effective with the use of normal household objects. But, I have to admit...I have... Read More
Topics: sensory integration , special needs , toys

2008 holiday gift guide and coupons

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November 17, 2:59 PM

As I write this the leaves are still falling onto my green lawn and I have to keep reminding my five-year-old that Christmas is still seven-weeks away. But, I know that all of you organized moms are out there shopping, surfing the web, and hitting the... Read More