Is Crystal Head Vodka a sign of the Apocalypse?

October 15, 3:19 PMChicago Drinks ExaminerCharles Cowdery

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It's a cool package and that should be enough, but the makers of Crystal Head Vodka insist on gilding the lily and in so doing, they prompt reflection on the absurdity that is super-premium vodka.

Vodka, by legal definition, is a colorless, odorless and tasteless neutral spirit. That's what "neutral" means; colorless, odorless and tasteless. Vodka--all vodka, no matter how much you pay for it--is simply ethanol, the same stuff some people use to fuel their cars (E85). That is not to say all vodka tastes the same, it doesn't, but the differences are very small and have more to do with the water used to dilute it than they do with the alcohol itself.

Crystal Head is being fronted by Dan Aykroyd and was supposedly, "inspired by his long-time fascination with ghosts, spirits, and other un-worldly presences, as well as his interest in the legend of the 13 Crystal Skulls." Crystal Head Vodka is quadruple distilled and then triple crystal-filtered through Herkimer diamonds, which are said to emit positive energy.

If you're interested, and it is a cool-looking bottle, Crystal Head Vodka is available in Chicago-area liquor stores for about $40 a head.

Terry Sullivan once predicted that we would one day have a vodka that was filtered through the hair of one-thousand Polish virgins. Then the trumpets will sound and the world will end.