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Great first date, but he hasn’t called
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Dear Annie,
I met Brad a couple of weeks ago, when I was having coffee at Duboce Park Café. He called soon after and we enjoyed a delicious date and a magical walk through the Arboretum, followed by a romantic dinner at Bistro 9. It was obvious that I wasn’t the only one who was starry-eyed. We had an incredibly strong connection, and I couldn’t wait to talk to him again.
I was sure that he was going to call the next day. When he didn’t, I assumed he didn’t want to appear overeager. After that, I thought he wasn’t calling because he was abiding by the three-day rule. But now, that time is up. Maybe I should have called him and thanked him for the date. Could he have lost my number? Is it OK to call him? Would email or texting be better? What should I do to encourage him? I really like him. Julie
Dear Julie,
Here is what you should not do: 1) dial his number, 2) “just happen” to run into him and 3) talk endlessly to your friends about him.
When a guy wants to see you again, he’ll call you soon after a date—barring a disaster. It’s likely that he had a great time with you, but that’s as far as it went. When a man doesn’t feel smitten, he goes home and goes on to whatever is next--with your date in his mind as a pleasant memory. He’s simply not motivated to move forward or he’s not available for a romantic relationship with you.
So, why not talk to your girlfriends about it? It’s OK to express your disappointment once, and plan how to move forward. If you rhapsodize about your amazing connection, you will bestow more importance on Brad than he deserves. You’ll expend precious emotional energy on someone who is not romantically interested in you.
When a man is open to a relationship with you, his actions will make it clear. If he doesn’t call or contact you, it’s time to move onto someone who will be thrilled to be by your side.
Join me and hundreds of available single men and women at Rich Gosse's annual Singles Extraveganza in Millbrae on Friday, September 11th from 7PM to midnight.
San Francisco based midlife dating coach, Annie Gleason, teams up with singles who are frustrated with the dating scene and helps them to transform their love lives with her exclusive five-step program.
For more info: Check out dating classes, events and midlife dating information at www.getalovelife.net or email annie@getalovelife.net
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