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Slow Brewing Romance
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Dear Annie, Where can I find interesting, attractive middle-age men who are not afraid of commitment, and are looking for a woman who is their own age? I’m in my fifties. I date online, participate in social groups and go to singles events. I see some of the same guys over and over again. They’re all boring. It seems that, as I get older, there is no one left to date. Sabrina
Dear Sabrina, It’s true that the pool of eligible handsome men (and beautiful women) shrink as people age. If you place a high value on charm and good looks, it may seem that there is no one left to date.
Rather than rejecting a man after your first meeting if you don’t feel any chemistry, why not take time to get to know him? He may be a nice guy, and meet your criteria in areas such as personality, income level, intelligence, or sense of humor. You’ll never find out if you move on right away.
Why not experiment and use Cindy’s approach? A few weeks after breaking her foot, she met Ray while she was crutching to get coffee in her neighborhood. He asked her if she would like help shopping. Their first date was spent in the aisles of Safeway. She invited him in for coffee after, and enjoyed their conversation. “He’s growing on me,” she told me after they had gone on a few dates. “At the very least I have a new friend. As I get to know him, he’ll either become more attractive, or not. I’m in no hurry to find out. I’m not seventeen, and being driven by hormones that I don’t produce anymore.” A few weeks later, she’s still enjoying their slow brewing romance.
Cindy is taking a win-win approach. She’s valuing Ray, whether he turns out to be a friend or a lover. Studies show that chemistry and passion often ignite after people have known each other for a while.
In our fast-paced, goal-oriented culture, women often want to have the thrill of instant chemistry. Next time, why not try the slow-bake kind? It’s a kinder, gentler way to experience romance.
Do you want to meet more people? Get A Love Life's Flirting Field Trip on July 30 will make it easy for you to do just that! Click here for details.
I spoke about intimacy after breast cancer on ABC-KGO TV's the View from the Bay on July 16.
For more info: Check out dating classes, events and midlife dating information at www.getalovelife.net or email annie@getalovelife.net
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