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Five signs that he's a bad boy
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As I was riding Muni the other day, my eyes rested on a sassy, sexy young man. He was wearing tight, torn jeans, a newsboy cap and a smirk. He was nice looking--nothing outstanding. His sense of self-assuredness, almost to the point of cockiness, got my attention. If I were decades younger, I might not be able to stop myself from gravitating towards him. Just what is it that’s so attractive about bad boys for many women?
Most bad boys aren’t criminal types—they're decent guys most of the time. A bad boy is a little more daring, exciting and…unreliable than others. His romantic style is seductive--intense, intoxicating and fleeting. When a woman falls for a bad boy, she’s in for a wild ride. Often, she feels sure that "he’s The One.” She patiently waits for him to realize that he can't live without her. It’s like being under the spell of high stakes gambling. She may become so focused on winning the charming, unattainable guy, that she doesn't give a thought to the emotional cost.
How can you tell if a guy is a bad boy?
*A bad boy will tell you things like “I’m not quite ready for a relationship,” or “I can’t believe that I met you now, when things are so up in the air,” as he gazes affectionately at you, and tells you how special you are.
*He tells you that his schedule is too unpredictable to plan ahead. He texts when he wants to see you, and calls erratically.
*He likes “at home dates”—your place or his. He enjoys hanging out or renting a movie, while being very romantic and physically affectionate. He says that he feels so good when he’s around you that anything is possible. You spend a lot of time lovemaking.
*He makes romantic plans for sometime in the future. Exotic vacations, amazing adventures, fancy dinners at a chic eatery, but nothing ever comes through. He charismatically and skillfully evades committing to making these plans materialize.
*When you run into his friends, he’ll avoid introducing you, or say that you’re his friend—not his girlfriend.
What should you do if the man you’re seeing fits this description, but you know that, deep down inside, he’s a great guy? After all, he has many wonderful qualities. When you’re together, the chemistry is amazing! You don’t know how you could possibly give him up. Sooner or later, he’ll come around, right?
Perhaps he might, but it’s not likely. And there is nothing that you can do to help make that happen. Falling for a bad boy is likely to be a losing proposition.
Coming up: If you want to have fun meeting others, join one of my Flirting Field Trips, taking place in San Francisco on Thursday June 25. For more information or to register, click on the calendar links at www.getalovelife.net.
Midlife dating coach, Annie Gleason, teams up with singles who are frustrated with the dating scene and helps them to transform their love lives with her exclusive five-step program.
For more info: Check out my classes, events and midlife dating information at www.getalovelife.net or email annie@getalovelife.net
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