
Dear Annie, I’m a woman in my forties who is looking for a guy who is interested in a long term relationship, maybe marriage. Are there any Internet dating sites worth trying? Eleanor
Online dating is a great tool. It gives you the opportunity to connect with people who you would never otherwise run into. Most of the dating sites that I recommend are listed on my website in the "Hot Links" section.
The best way to determine whether a dating website is right for you is to explore it. In order to do so, you will be asked to register--this is routine and will not obligate you to pay or join. When you get to the homepage, create a search for the age and distance of the person that is acceptable to you. I don't recommend doing an advanced search while you are screening sites, unless you only want to add one or two deal-breaker criteria.
Tips: Be broad in your search. Look for a wide age range, but a reasonable geographic distance. A long-distance relationship, where you are only able to get together once a month or so, is difficult to turn into a full-time relationship. However, someone who is a few years older, or a few inches shorter, than your ideal could become a loving partner.
While you are searching, pay attention to how many people who meet your basic search requirements have been active on the site within the last three to four days. Usually you will see a notation near a user’s photo that tells you when they were last online. A site which has lots of recent activity will have more people looking for you than one whose users are rarely online.
There are 3 kinds of sites: Mainstream sites, like Match and YahooPersonals, have large populations, where anyone can contact everyone. They have a higher ratio of men to women. Matchmaking sites like Chemistry and eHarmony require users to take a personality test. Their compatibility tools determine who is a good match for you. You will be given a list of potential partners that they find suitable. Matchmaking sites tend to have a higher ratio of women to men; however, more of the men are serious about finding a relationship. Niche sites like JDate, Datemypet, or Asia Friendfinder have smaller, more focused dating populations. They attract people with specific cultural interests or hobbies. These sites are often helpful for finding compatible matches, but have smaller dating populations than a mainstream site.
Once you decide which site that you want to use, go through their profile creation process. Get current, professional (if possible) photos that help you look your best. If you want help creating a great profile, check out my Online Profile Tuneup program, or take my 4 part group seminars where I walk participants through selecting a site, creating a profile, creative searches, writing winning emails, and more.
Online dating is just one of many ways to meet people. Just when you feel like you're not meeting anyone in person, the sheer number of people who are looking online can be reassuring. The more you understand it, the better it will work for you
Coming up: San Francisco's annual Bay to Breakers race is coming up Sunday, May 17. Join me at KGO-TV's the View From the Bay booth at the ING Greater Body Expo, a 2-day health/fitness event on Friday, May 15 and Saturday, May 16 at Bill Graham Civic Auditorium in San Francisco. Check out exhibitor booths and try out new fitness apparel and gear. If you're participating in the Bay to Breakers, this is the place to pick up race t-shirts and race packets and register.
I'll also be at the KGO-TV the View From the Bay booth at the Bay to Breakers post-race concert and festival in Golden Gate Park's Polo Fields.
Midlife dating coach, Annie Gleason, teams up with singles who are frustrated with the dating scene and helps them to transform their love lives with her exclusive five-step program.