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Giving out your phone number – Five tips
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After my post about whether women should ask men out, I received several emails from men who insisted that I was out of touch for suggesting that it’s best if a man takes on the role of pursuer. I decided to take an informal survey.
A few men told me that they enjoy having women invite them out. However, the vast majority of the men in my unscientific poll asserted that, when they are attracted to someone, they expect to be responsible for initiating a date. Reflecting the sentiments of many, Ron told me “The only ones who ask me are the one’s I’m not interested in.”
Women are more likely than men to become increasingly attracted to someone whom they have previously overlooked, when that person expresses romantic interest. This explains why traditional courtship involves a man wooing a woman—it’s far more likely to be successful than a woman wooing a man.
What if you’re a woman who wants to get to know a man better? How do you let him know that you’re intrigued with him? Should you offer him your number? My suggestion is that you let him know that you find him attractive, encourage his attention, and wait for him to request it.
Timing, confidence and attitude are key. Smile and make eye contact. Be friendly, flirtatious and interested in what he has to say. Lightly touch his arm or shoulder. Keep the conversation light and fun; just go with the flow. If he’s available and wants to see you again, chances are that he’ll let you know. When he does, help him out by being prepared to give out your number.
Like some women, you might want to use a “free” business card service like Vista Print to create personal cards with your name, email and/or phone number. If revealing your full name feels uncomfortable, you can print only your first name. It also helps to have a pen and paper on hand, just in case.
I suggest that you give out your cell number, rather than your home phone.
Get a separate email address, with an anonymous user name, that you use solely for dating. GMail and Yahoo Mail are free Internet based email providers who allow you to set up multiple accounts. For ease of use, you can have your dating email forwarded to your usual email address.
If someone asks for your number and you are not sure if you want to get to know him better, just give him your email address. This allows you to get better acquainted before deciding to chat on the phone.
Should you give him your number if he doesn’t ask? Use your judgment, but be aware that most men will ask you if they are want to see you again.
Contact me with your dating questions and suggestions annie@getalovelife.net
Sign up for my March 4-part series: Dating Dynamics class, held on Tuesday evenings in San Francisco, or Optimizing Online Dating teleclass held Monday evenings--only $79 if you sign up by Friday 2/27, $99 after that. For details about all upcoming classes, click here.
Midlife dating coach, Annie Gleason, teams up with singles frustrated with the dating scene and helps them to transform their love lives with her exclusive five-step program.
Check out my interview on San Francisco's KGO TV View From The Bay January 27.
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