Sure-fire strategies for finding love in 2009

January 2, 12:15 AMSF Dating ExaminerAnnie Gleason

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You’ve resolved that finding love will be a priority in the New Year. Now what? Forget about romantic myths--that love always comes more easily when you’re not looking, or that you’ll just "know" when you meet “the one.” People who proactively search for love have a much better chance of bringing a romantic partner into their lives.

Strategy part 1: Take time and think about your relationship goals for 2009. What do you really want? A life-long romance? A series of quick flings? How important is this to you, on a scale of one to ten? If it’s over seven, resolve to invest time every day to work toward your objective. On busy weekdays, this could take as little as fifteen minutes a day. Tackle the bigger projects over the weekend.

If you want a long-term committed relationship, keep your eye on the goal. Go-nowhere short-term affairs, no matter how hot, are landmines that can divert you from finding the real thing.

Strategy part 2: You never know where you’ll meet the love of your life. If you’re running to the store with unwashed hair and wearing ill-fitting sweats, you won't be able to seize the opportunity. Always look your best when you leave the house, even if it's just for a minute. Spend the next couple of days getting your wardrobe organized, so that you can throw a spiffy outfit together at a moment’s notice. Ladies, if you haven’t done it recently, update your makeup for free by asking for a makeover at a department store cosmetic counter. If all of this seems like too much to do by yourself, ask a friend or professional for help. In my coaching practice, image update is an important part of dating readiness.

Strategy part 3: Use multiple approaches in order to meet new people. Ask your friends to fix you up. Talk to several strangers every day, wherever you are. After making eye contact, say hello and smile. Enjoy flirting with new acquaintances. Chat briefly,  and stick to light, fun topics. If you want your spontaneous conversations to sizzle, attend BATS Improv for Singles workshop series on Saturdays next month. You'll never be at a loss for words again.

Join classes or workshops that reflect your interests. Meeting new people feels easy and natural when you take interactive classes, such as dance. Cheryl Burke Studios in San Francisco or Two Left Feet in Danville are great places to learn and socialize with a large clientele of friendly regulars. If you’re not comfortable taking group classes, dance coach Cynthia Glinka will teach you to be a great social dancer in one lesson.

Take your dance skills to singles parties. Rich Gosse’s Society of Single Professionals schedules over 170 singles events each year, located throughout the Bay Area. His Singles Guide has links to most Bay Area singles organizations. The Professionals Guild puts on lavish singles events in the greater Bay Area.

Strategy part 4: Utilize online dating sites to maximize your options. Use the best up-to-date photos that you can get. Use humor, be honest about yourself, and you will attract those who are looking for someone just like you. I’m giving a teleclass series, Optimizing Online Dating, which will help you make the most of internet dating, every Monday night in January from 7:00 to 8:00 p.m.

Strategy part 5: If you’d like someone who really understands the ins and outs of dating to support you as you search for love, contact me.

Check out my Dating Blunders segment on KGO TV View From the Bay. 

Contact me with your dating questions and suggestions annie@getalovelife.net

Midlife dating coach, Annie Gleason, teams up with singles frustrated with the dating scene and helps them to transform their love lives with her exclusive five-step program.