RSS
Home
Pre-first date phone calls after meeting online
Print
Email
RSS
Subscribe
Dear Annie, I’m a 42 year-old woman who is meeting men on match.com. Some men want to meet right away, however I prefer to talk on the phone before going out with them. What is the best way to deal with phone calls before you’ve met? How can I show him that I’m interested without scaring him away? Beth
Dear Beth, Treat your pre-date phone call as if it were meeting in person. Your goal should be to discover if you enjoy his personality enough to talk to or see him again.
If you have met him online, especially if you are corresponding with several men, print a copy of his profile and your email exchange so that you can review it before the call. If you are worried that you won’t know what to say, highlight a range of conversation topics. It’s easier to get men mixed up than you might think.
Ask questions and volunteer information in roughly equal amounts. Discuss what both of you are doing with your time, banter about casual topics and see if you can discover what makes him tick. For example, you could ask how he became interested in a hobby or travel destination. Ask what he thought about the last movie, concert or show that he attended. Don’t complain, talk about your ex or take out your checklist! A man might feel that you are asking about his income if you ask about his job or the neighborhood where he lives.
Assuming that you’re enjoying yourself, talk for 20 to 30 minutes. Then tell him that you have enjoyed the conversation, but that you must go soon. You don’t need to tell him why. Be quiet for a moment in order to give him the opportunity to ask you out before you hang up.
Show that you’re interested in him by your friendly enthusiasm towards him. If you sense that his attention is lagging, end the phone call. Men are often scared away when they sense a woman is hovering, controlling, or negative.
If he’s not of interest to you, don’t feel obligated to stay on the phone or accept a date. Thank him for the call and hang up quickly. If he asks you for a date, simply thank him and tell him that you don’t feel that you are a match.
If you treat pre-first date phone calls as an opportunity to discover more about someone, your first dates are likely to be more enjoyable.
San Francisco based midlife dating coach, Annie Gleason, teams up with singles who are frustrated with the dating scene and helps them to transform their love lives with her exclusive five-step program.
For more info: Check out dating classes, events and midlife dating information at www.getalovelife.net or email annie@getalovelife.net
Related Articles:
Add a Comment
