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Dear Annie, I’d really like to meet someone, so I’m trying to talk to new people. However I’m afraid that I’ll get stuck in a conversation and won’t be able to pull away. How can I tell if someone is going to be worth conversing with? Pattie
Dear Pattie, You can’t. The trick is to have an exit strategy from the start. When you are confident that you can gracefully bow out of a conversation, it will easier to approach others.
Being unfailingly polite while you are maneuvering your exit is of crucial importance. Good manners don’t obligate you to spend time with someone you don’t want to; they simply require that you are kind and curious about moving onto your next obligation.
It’s fine to use a white lie that doesn’t lead your acquaintance on. “Oh! Look at the time! I have to go.” “Oh, I just saw Bob--I promised I’d get him some information. Nice meeting you.” Smile and go. Don’t say that you’ll call or that you want to have lunch sometime unless you really mean it.
What if you’re talking with someone who blocks your exit? He’s clinging, asking personal questions--not getting the hint. What if you can’t get a word in edgewise? Tap him on the shoulder while looking into his eyes, smile and say “Excuse me, but I have to go now. Nice meeting you.” Then turn and walk away.
If you’re meeting an internet date in person for the first time, and it’s going badly, it is perfectly fine to excuse yourself. Your date is probably wondering how to get out of this, too. You can save face by grabbing your cell phone, and telling him that you just got an urgent text from a client, kid or friend. “I’m sorry, but I can’t stay. I’m glad that I got the opportunity to meet you.” If you do this, be sure to leave enough money to cover the check. Leaving someone and having them pay for you could be insulting to them.
If you are friendly and act confidently, even if you don’t feel it, and have some exit strategies ready, you’ll soon be able to better enjoy flirtatious encounters with attractive strangers.
Give yourself the opportunity to practice your newfound skills this Tuesday, October 20, 6:00-8:00PM, at Get A Love Life's Wine-Tasting Mixer. This is a terrific opportunity to taste wonderful Italian wines while mingling with a great crowd of people. Master winemaker Lucio Matricardi will demonstrate why Italians do it better...as he leads us through a wine tasting on: Sicilian Reds, Italian Chardonnay and Rotari, the new Italian sparkling wine.
Includes light appetizers and lots of great wine...all for only $10.00. Space is limited. You must RSVP by clicking the following link: Yes I will attend.
Where: Belden Taverna - Upstairs
52 Belden Place
San Francisco, CA 94104
(415) 986-8887
San Francisco based midlife dating coach, Annie Gleason, teams up with singles who are frustrated with the dating scene and helps them to transform their love lives with her exclusive five-step program.
For more info: Check out dating classes, events and midlife dating information at www.getalovelife.net or email annie@getalovelife.net