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Savvy singles event strategies
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Some people thrive when they attend singles dances or mixers. Others freeze and wonder what they have gotten themselves into. The good news is that that, with the right attitude, you’ll discover that these events can be a great tool in your people-meeting arsenal. If you follow these guidelines, you’ll enjoy yourself and increase your odds of meeting the right person!
Go out with realistic expectations. You are out to have a fun evening and interact with new people. Before you go, be sure that you look your best. Wear an outfit with an accessory that is attractive and unique; wearing a conversation starter such as an interesting piece of jewelry, tie or scarf, leaves you more approachable. Check your favorite news or entertainment source for up-to-date conversation topics. When you get there, smile, make flirtatious eye contact and talk to everyone you see. You never know whom you’ll run into. Let’s face it; if you didn’t know who Bill Gates was, and he was attending a singles event, you wouldn’t want to miss the opportunity of chatting with him.
Dance with everyone who asks. If no one approaches you, it’s OK to flirtatiously ask a total stranger. Dance as if you are having a great time and your enthusiasm will be contagious. Even if you’d prefer not to dance with a particular partner, songs only last three minutes at most—so you’ll live through it! When people see that you are dancing, they are more likely to ask you for a whirl on the floor than they are someone who is sitting on the sidelines. Men, when a slow dance comes on, let her determine how close she dances with you. Often a woman doesn’t want full frontal contact with a man she’s just met. So unless someone smells, why not dance at least once with anyone?
If you want to get to know someone better, and the music is too loud to talk, suggest that you take a short break from dancing and talk where it’s quieter. Don’t monopolize anyone. It’s more appealing if you have several short flirty conversations with someone spaced over time than if you stay too long. Keep them wanting more!
What if all doesn’t go perfectly? If people are rude or brush you off, don’t take it personally. Move on, and continue getting to know the people who treat you well. Keep in mind that some people who regularly go to singles dances only want to socialize with people they know. It’s their loss. Event sponsors are experts when it comes to handling difficult issues, such as dealing with persistent unwanted advances that come up. Feel free to talk to them.
If someone you don’t want to know better asks you out, be kind, unambiguous and honest. Tell them something along the lines of: “Although you seem like a nice guy, I don’t feel chemistry. Good luck with your search.”
This week, I will be attending two East Bay Singles events. Tuesday November 11, I will be speaking about “Decoding Dating Signals” at a Midlife Singles Mixer hosted by Rich Gosse’s Society of Single Professionals at the Marriot in Walnut Creek.
I will also be available to talk to people one-on-one at Friday night’s Bay Area Singles Expo, Trade Show and Dance Party in Concord, hosted by the Professionals Guild, which caters to Bay Area and Sacramento singles. Singles of all ages are welcome at this event.
I'm looking fowrward to seeing you there!
Email me with your dating questions annie@getalovelife.net
Annie Gleason is the West Coast's premier mid-life dating coach
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