In my head or in my heart
I might have a thinking problem.
It is not that I have trouble thinking; it’s that I think too much. I mean my thoughts seem to be going all the time. In the morning I think about what I’m going to do for the day. At night I think about what I did, or should have done, or what I need to do tomorrow. I think when I go for a run or walk the dog. I think while I am reading email. I think in the shower and at the kitchen table.
All too often I am thinking while supposedly listening to others. This is particularly bad when I am busy crafting what I am going to say before it is my turn to speak. And I confess I sometimes even get distracted with random thoughts while attending worship services.
Some of this may just be a tendency to get distracted. Plus, I engage in plenty of unhealthy worrying over the future. That can bring about F.E.A.R., but I’ve learned to recognize that most of it is “future events appearing real” and “false evidence appearing real”.
I suppose I’m philosophical by nature. And I like to figure things out. There can be a problem with that when it comes to religion and spirituality. Much of the “God stuff” is a mystery and can’t be figured out. That’s why we call it faith.
I don’t mean to paint a picture of myself as someone who lets thoughts run wild in my head all the time. I have learned over time the importance of giving the brain a rest. And I believe in the benefit of being still and meditating. I even practice contemplative prayer (also known as
centering prayer), although I am far from proficient at it. In this form of prayer I am quiet for 20-30 minutes and turn my
intention to God. When thoughts come I’m supposed to let them go and not get caught up in them. The point is not to try to stop thinking – that won’t happen. But, I am not to become attached to the thoughts and instead just be with God. It is a beautiful way to grow your personal relationship with the Divine.
The good news for me is that the teachings of Christianity, especially the message of love and service for others that Jesus gave us, is helping me to recognize that what comes from the heart is far more important than what is generated in my head. Heart language is the language of feelings, and the language of love is the voice of God speaking to us in our hearts.
Thoughts can be evaluated and debated, but the same is not true for what is in my heart. My heart is either warm or cold. I am either loving – or not. I have found that when I let go of my thinking and let God love in me and through me I live more authentically and I can let go of worry, fear, resentment and anger.
As you can probably tell, I have thought about this a lot. And I have reached the conclusion I should certainly use my brains for good purpose. I don’t need to quit thinking altogether. But I can recognize when thinking is excessive. I can get out of my head and in to my heart. At times it can be the longest journey, but the twelve inches or so from the head to the heart is worth traveling.
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