I Hate Salad! Or, Symptoms of Summer Boredom

August 5, 2:09 PMDenver Food ExaminerAndrea Spikes

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Skip the greens and make a toppings-only salad

For the last month or so, I have refused to make a stupid salad. You know the drill - go buy a bunch of lettuce or other "greens" and hope you use it all before it turns brown, figure out what you want to dump on top of it, then figure out what you want to dump on top of all that to make it palatable and feel like a meal instead of punishment.

To me, ordering a salad in a restaurant is like signing a piece of paper that says "I don't actually want to eat and be satisfied, I just want to look at something that has lots of colors in it - mostly green". It's the formula, really, that spoils it for me - greens, toppings, dressing. Bo-ring.

But what should I do when the summer temperature threatens to melt the cheese on my countertop (and my brain along with it)? I want cool, refreshing food. Well, more to the point - I don't want to cook or heat up anything. Sometimes not even the grill.

I vote for the non-lettuce-based salad. Shocker! What in the world is that? Oh, just skip the lettuce. Ditch the bunny fodder. Whisk away the watercress. Just chop up some veggies: think cucumber, tomato, squash, peas, jicama, avocado... add a can of black beans or corn or chopped green chiles. Oh yeah, and then there's cheese, nuts, shrimp, chicken, leftover beef strips from last night's Chinese takeout...

Want a different topping for your Frankenstein salad? How about salsa? Oh yeah... I love salsa as a salad topping - mango salsa, tomatillo salsa, whatever. It already has veggies in it, plus loads of flavor and usually no fat.

Go ahead. Throw away convention and forget about those bags of lettuce that seem to be worth their weight in gold these days.