Cuban Apocalypse

April 8, 5:45 PMApocalypse ExaminerWyatt Shev

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It's not time for cigars just yet...

The long-running embargoes imposed on Cuba by the United States may soon be a thing of the past. With the nation clamouring for change, the Obama administration is beginning to make definite progress towards repairing the rocky relationship between these two ultra-close neighbors. Relations restored between the US and Cuba? The Apocalypse must be just around the corner.

Backward-minded Republicans must be having a field day with this one. I’d imagine they’re frothing at the mouth at the mere suggestion of American co-operation with Castro’s communist dictatorship. They’ll throw everything at this one, right?

As it turns out, my imagination has let me down.

Sen. Richard Lugar, the ranking Republican on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, has called on the President to appoint a special envoy to Cuba. Lugar’s plan is intended to initiate direct talks with Castro’s government and end the embargoes and general US intereference. Luger is spearheading a rather powerful bipartisan movement dedicated to ending the Cuban hostilities. He has a number of very powerful players in his corner, including state governments, local and national business leaders and even the U.S. Chamber of Commerce.

Last time Congress got close to easing financial and travel restrictions regarding Cuba, cowboy-in-chief George Walker Bush used his presidential veto powers to slam the door shut. Now that the new kid’s in town, easing up on Cuba has become a potent hot-button topic.

So c’mon, ultra-conservative hate-mongers, where are you all hiding? Come out and take a swipe at Cuba. You may not get too many more chances- not if Lugar, Obama and the rest have their way. O’Reilly’s and Hannity’s of the world, unite. The people need your vitriolic bigotry and fear-based punditry now more than ever.

After all… if Cuba and the United States become bosom buddies, God will be angered. And when God’s angry,  chances are an Apocalypse ain’t too far off.

There are now only 1352 days left until the End of the World.