Armageddon for disgruntled postal workers

March 21, 6:56 PMApocalypse ExaminerWyatt Shev

Previous Next

24 comments Print Email RSS Subscribe

Subscribe

Get alerts when there is a new article from the Apocalypse Examiner. Read Examiner.com's terms of use.

Email Address   Include other special offers from Examiner.com Terms of Use

Stick to using mailboxes for a while

It may be prudent to avoid your local post office for the next few weeks or so. With the latest recession-inspired announcement from the U.S. Post, prepare to brace your bad selves for a dramatic increase in disgruntled postal worker massacres.

In a somewhat dramatic response to the failing economy, some 150, 000 USPS employees- one quarter of the total workforce- are to be offered early retirement. 3, 000 will be flat-out fired. Just think about that for a moment. Over 25% of the people responsible for the operation of America’s sprawling postal system- arguably one of the nation’s most important social services- are about to be rendered obsolete.

President Obama assures us that better times are just around the corner. It’s kinda hard to believe that when a long-established (and wholly necessary) tenet of American society is at risk of crumbling into disarray.

If I were you, I’d stock up on all your stamps and envelopes now, before things get any worse. It could be just a matter of weeks before your local post office starts to resemble downtown Sadr City.