Subway sociopaths: part one

April 30, 8:43 PMNY Underground Travel ExaminerDJ Hazard

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If you’re looking for a story about the next Bernie Getz or Dexter, sorry, try Scotland Yard.

In past articles, I think I’ve more than established my unique affection for the NYC subway system. Maybe you can call it more of a love/hate relationship. Maybe you can call it a dysfunctional relationship.        

What you can’t call it is boring. It’s a twenty hour boiling pot of macropsychodynamics. Megatons of people require agreement in conduct. For the most part, even I’m amazed on a daily basis on how well NYC subway riders cooperate and try to make the next thirty minutes a better world. 

I’m starting to see this slide again, though. It’s not just the cell phones and iPods that you can hear across the car. It’s not just the gradual decay of the ‘let them off before you get on’ rule. It’s really ridiculous and totally avoidable behaviors that get my goat. If I had a goat, I wouldn’t bring it on the subway, because it would be rude. To the goat.

The Bike On The Subway

Okay, people, what’s going on here? What’s wrong with this picture? We know this guy didn’t peddle from Connecticut to Van Cortlandt Park and needs a break to get to Ozone Park before he can continue to Montauk.

Rolling a bicycle onto a subway car is an huge obscene gesture to everybody else on the train. If you got up at 4 am, peddled around Central Park for twenty four hours and came home at 4 am? Maybe. Rush hour? Capital punishment.

Taking public transportation instead of driving a car is considered ‘green’ these days. So is riding your bike to work. What’s this guy trying to? Be extra green? Putting a bike on the subway is like putting a dog on another dog.

The Leg Crosser

I don’t care if you have Betty Gable gams or diamonds on the soles of your shoes. Put your feet on the floor and strike pose when you get home. You’re taking up space where somebody can stand. You’re blocking the aisle. You’re making people have to say ‘excuse me’ to get by like they’re inconveniencing you. Last but not least, if you rub your shoe dirt on someone’s pants or hosiery while they’re trying to get by you... well, the rest of us will have some entertainment watching what ensues.