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What it means to be an on-the-go-mom: a personal perspective
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When I decided to start writing again for a public domain I knew I had to start somewhere to gain visibility and obtain ideas. The first place I reached out to of course, were mommy networks, because I’ve come public after a 5-year hiatus as none other than a ‘mommy.’ Naturally, I considered my new Writing Self to be a ‘mommy writer’ who rants and raves about vaccinations, diapers, color of baby’s poop and organic cotton tees. However, it didn’t take long for me to realize that something was different about me and the way I write when compared to other moms.
I’m a proud mother, but MUCH more than ‘just a mommy.’
When a woman first becomes a mom, her entire world becomes absorbed in her new baby’s. Her needs, wants, and dreams are shoved in the backseat as her baby, and the baby’s health, well-being and dreams become the most important. This is natural as every woman is equipped with an amazingly powerful and spiritual intuition called maternal instincts. I too, experienced this upon my daughter’s birth and continue to be amazed at the amount of patience, strength and courage I have stored deep down inside. For me, the catch is that I struggle to be this loving, nurturing, patient and thoughtful to any other being, including my husband and parents. But for some reason, I can be everything- a cook, cleaner, nurse, hair/wardrobe stylist, personal shopper, event planner, coach, teacher, chauffeur, guide, discipliner and much more- for my two young daughters.
With this said, I have to reiterate this: I love motherhood, yet refuse to be pigeon-holed into the role of ‘just-a-mommy’ whose life revolves around her children and her children only.
I greatly admire mothers who dedicate their entire lives for their children because I know being a stay-at-home-mom is the most difficult (yes MOST DIFFICULT) job in the entire world. On the other hand, I’ve seen the same selfless mothers become unhappy and bitter as they reach their later years because they feel they have sacrificed their entire lives to be left with very little.
For me, motherhood doesn’t have to consume a mother’s entire being. For me, being a ‘mother’ and ‘woman’ is not dichotomous, meaning that the two can co-exist peacefully without being against each other. All mothers are women and most women become mothers one day. And these two entities are so precious and valuable that one should not replace the other completely at any moment (well, except maybe the baby’s first year or so). Motherhood and womanhood can co-exist peacefully as long as we shift the way we view motherhood. I know I’m now a mother for the rest of my life and yes, being a mother does restrict me from certain things–well many things. But because I don’t forget to be both a mom AND woman, I know I can be a happy and fulfilled mother, not only until my daughters go off to college, but for many years beyond as we grow old together as WOMEN. In the end, I want my daughters to know me not only as a mother, but also has a woman whom they can model themselves after.
Knowing myself, my capabilities and dreams, being ‘just a mom’ will not leave me fulfilled for the rest of my life. In fact, I don’t think there is any woman in this world who only deserves to be ‘just a mom’ for her entire life. To me, this is what it means to be a female in the 21st century. This is the post-postmodern female identity that we should all embrace and try to attain.
So if I go weeks without ever mentioning my daughters on here or twitter, it’s not because I’m not a proud mommy or because I loathe motherhood. Far from it. In fact, I’ve been my daughters’ primary caretaker since their birth and will continue to be so until I feel they are ready to spend more hours away from me. Rather, it is because I’m in the process of reaching a healthy balance between motherhood and womanhood, trying hard not to let motherhood consume every part of my body and soul.
And this is what it means to be an on-the-go-mom who'll never feel the pressure to run away.
(A perspective article inspired by my personal blog entry.)
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