RSS
Home
MASN needs a dose of reality ... programming
Print
Email
RSS
Subscribe
"Tell 'em Diddy says throw the slider."
We could all use a little escape right about now. When the Orioles are this bad, watching them is no easy task. After last Tuesday's shocking comeback, the club has tanked badly, surrendering a heartbreaking loss the the Sox just a few hours after mounting the biggest comeback in franchise history. They then flew to LA where the losses continue to pile up.
Is anyone excited about watching The Birds battle the Mariners late into the night this week?
Of course, as bad a the O's have been, their MASN sister squad the gNats are even worse. Very few people watch the O's. No one watches the Nats. In fact, last season the Orioles had the 3rd worst TV ratings in baseball, drawing 33,000 a game. The Nats were dead last with a paltry 9,000 viewers.
Have you ever listened to the Nats announcers? They're always talking about some young, talented club. Clearly, they're not even watching the Nats games.
So what is a fledgling regional network like MASN to do in order to get some ratings? I say take the Nationals off TV. No one will notice until they have a series against the Mets anyway. With the Nats no longer clogging up valuable prime time slots, MASN should turn MASN 2 into the Orioles Reality Channel.
Here are a number of O's-based reality shows that I would watch. Hey Peter Angelos, I want royalties if any of these projects get the green light.
Melvin and Gisel Plus Six
The show featuring the longest tenured current Oriole, his wife, their quintuplets and an additional daughter, would be a lot like Jon and Kate Plus Eight, except Melmo and his wife seem to actually love one another and they didn't need cable TV blood money to become wealthy.
Making the Staff 13
After a dozen years of unsuccessfully trying to field a winning pitching staff the conventional way, next season the O's host a Sean Combs' Making the Band-style reality competition. Of course, hitting the corner of the plate with a 95 MPH fastball is much harder than crunk dancing and warbling like a girl, but the concept could translate well to Spring Training. With all due respect to the coaching staff, I'd let Diddy host this show. He might have more luck fielding winners.
Brian & Diana
MASN cameras follow second baseman Brian Roberts and his wife Diana during the offseason. This show would be a lot like Tori & Dean, except that Brian actually has talent and Diana is attractive, so it wouldn't be anything like Tori & Dean.
Flavor of Huff
Don't laugh. In three season's of VH1's Flavor of Love, the basic cable channel found 60 women willing to compete for the love of Flavor Flav. I'm sure there are enough female Huff Daddy fans out there to fill a mansion. Just make sure you program your v-chip to keep the kids from tuning in. At the end of each episode Huff would vote one woman out of the mansion by telling her, “I no longer want to knock one out of the park with you.”
(author's note: If you want to keep your computer disease free, do not do an image search for "Flavor of Love." You've been warned.)
Aubrey knows Best
Ok, you don't like the idea of watching women fight over the left-handed slugger? Then give him a bandana and cut-off sleeves with rayban sunglasses and hope that his kids turn out better than Hulk Hogan's.
Ty Wigginton's My New BFF
Socialite celebutard Paris Hilton has nothing on Wiggy. MASN captures all the action as Wiggy gets acquainted with Baltimore and searches for his new best friend forever. At the end of each episode, one potential bestest is voted off the show and Ty finds out if he is playing first, second, third, short, or DHing that night.
Dear readers, would you watch the MASN Reality Channel? Do you have any reality shows of your own you'd like to see? Can you think of a single reason to keep the Nats on television?
