Writers use a number of terms when they want to compliment a player but they don’t want to do any work. For example, an undersized player is “gritty” or “determined.”
Former baseball parody titans FireJoeMorgan.com built a legacy by pointing out all of the undeserved praise heaped upon thimble-sized infielder David Eckstein.
But it’s not just small white players who get rewarded with strange, referent-less compliments. Fat white players get their share as well. Last spring, Dave Trembley referred to Ty Wigginton as “filthy.”
And Kevin Millar is known as “the consummate gamer.” I guess that’s a synonym for slow?
If you’re a sports fan, you’ve read these odes to the mediocre often, perhaps even nodding your head in silent approval because the authors use these terms—“gritty,” “dirty,” “gamer,” to hide the fact that they are paying tribute to the average player—the player for which the writer has found the unique, intangible quality that no one else has seen.
No one else except the cabal of lazy sports writers looking to praise adequate players without making any journalistic effort.
Steve Melewski’s article about hapless Oriole rookie Jason Berken reveals its “bad is good” thesis in its shamelessly empty title: “And the Oriole award for mental toughness in 2009 goes to…
Jason Berken.”
Berken’s ’09 stats: 6-12, 6,54 ERA.
So why, then, does Mr. Berken deserve an award for his mental fortitude? Well, he did go 5-3 in his last 11 starts, improving upon an awful 1-9 ERA to start the year. That’s fair enough.
But how did Berken turn around his season, according to Melewski?
“By getting up and fighting back.”
Ah, I see. Berken persevered by not curling up in the fetal position against his locker and crying.
Mr. Melewski, you work for the team. Maybe you could find out how Mr. Berken managed to “battle back.” By mixing different pitches? Changing his mechanics? Relying more on his battery mate?
No, he just kept getting up and fighting back.
Also, according to Melewski, “Berken first showed some mental toughness in April. When his teammates Chris Tillman, David Hernandez and Brad Bergesen all headed to Norfolk for opening day, Berken was held back with Double-A Bowie.
He didn't complain, soon found himself with Norfolk and was in Baltimore before the end of May.”
So being mentally tough means…not complaining? Knowing you are a lesser prospect than others in the organization?
What was Berken going to do at that point, grab Andy MacPhail by the throat and exclaim, “Screw this. I’m not going to Bowie. I’m starting day one against the Yanks and no one is gonna stop me.”
Not one to let a reporter get all of the empty hyperbolic glory, manager Dave Trembley gets in on the act, too.
Says Dave: "He had a very difficult month of June and July and he got to August and he didn't snap, he has not cracked…Kranitz kept telling me to stick with him, because he pitches with his heart and he's not afraid.
His stuff may be average, but he gets by because he doesn’t give in.”
Thank you, Dave Trembley. Now I know a few things about Jason Berken.
1. His stuff is average (ok, already knew that)
2. He pitches with his heart, which sounds painful
3. He didn’t snap
So, if you are a subpar pitcher, what you need to do in order to win a reporter and manager’s heart is to go out there and not have a mental collapse on the mound.
Do not lose it and start neck punching the 3rd baseman.
Do not cry uncontrollably until the pitching coach runs to the mound with an industrial-sized kleenex box.
Do not get all foaming at the mouth and destroy the locker room when you are predictably sent to the minors.
Then you, too, can be mentally tough like Jason Berken.
This isn’t a knock on Jason Berken. He made some adjustments and finished his season on a high note. Good for him. But as readers, we deserve to know how he might have gone about his last 11 starts differently.
After reading this piece, I have no idea what Berken did differently to improve in the waning months of the season.
Apparently, Steve Melewski doesn’t either.