Can Steve Trachsel be replaced?

19 comments

August 8, 1:22 AM

by Jay Trucker, Baltimore Orioles Examiner

 

 

Garrett Olson, the O’s starting pitcher in Wednesday afternoon’s matinee, left the game after 2 1/3 innings having given up 6 runs.  There were a few bright spots in the series-ender, including recent callup Lou Montanez hitting a home run in his first at bat.  Nick Markakis had a dinger as well.  The O’s finished the road trip 5-4, but their pitching woes continue, despite Chris Waters’ big performance on Tuesday evening.

The Radhamas Liz experiment ended poorly; the Garrett Olson trial is nearing an end; the Dennis Sarfate experience looks like a rocky ride.  Right about now, as the O’s head home for a series against Texas, we could all use a little Steve Trachsel.

When I was a kid I always wanted to have a beer with Steve Trachsel.  Well, that dream seems to have died this year when the O’s unceremoniously dumped the 37-year-old innings-eater in June.  No current hurler holds my interest as much as the veteran pitcher.  Something about Steve (his frosted tips?  his gloomy looks?) let me know that he would have some stories about life on the road.  He knows all about breaking into the big leagues, putting it all on the line, and seeing his 84-mph fastball get blown up.  This is not to say I wouldn’t want to grab a beer with any current birds, I just don’t know who is out there to replace the special place in my heart once occupied by Steve Trachsel.

Below is a list of candidates.  Feel free to leave a comment and let me know which bird you’d want to belly up with.  The offseason is just around the corner.

Daniel Cabrera, 27, SP

            Pro:  The 6’9” pitcher would throw a punch for you should you get into trouble.

            Con:  He’s liable to miss.

Adam Jones, 22, CF

Pro:  Early reports say the young, talented centerfielder is a nice guy who the veterans consider one of the fellas.  He won’t give you attitude or act arrogant just because he’s a big leaguer.

Con:  When he was traded from the Mariners, Jones allegedly called Ray Lewis to get the inside scoop about Baltimore.  If he follows 52’s advice you may find yourself in a situation where you… won’t see or know anything, anything at all.

Aubrey Huff, 31, DH

Pro: He might not care for the Baltimore nightlife, but Huff knows the hotspots down in Tampa!

Nick Markakis, 24, RF

Pro: Markakis is quickly becoming the face of the organization.  Women will flock to him and you will reap the benefits of being his wing man. Bonus: he balances shopping carts on his chin for fun.

Con: The guy sounds like an automaton during interviews.  Have you ever had a conversation with someone sleepwalking? 

Kevin Millar, 36, IB

Pro:  The birds’ team leader is also their biggest prankster.  You’ll have a night full of laughs.

Con:  Because you’re a newbie, the joke could very well be on you.  Also, you may have to travel.  Millar spends most of his free time in Boston.

Melvin Mora, 36, 3B

Pro: The team’s longest tenured player, Mora knows where to go for good food and a well made beverage. 

Con: He can’t stay out too late because he has to read five bedtime stories, one for each quintuplet.

Brian Roberts, 30, 2B

Pro:  He can tell you what it’s like to play in the All Star game, something none of the other current O’s position players can do.

Con:  The smallest Orioles player will only talk to you about real estate in Illinois.  He also tends to be susceptible to peer pressure and will try anything once.

Luke Scott, 29, LF

Pro: Even though he’s new to the area, Scott takes scrupulous notes, so he’ll be able to suggest a good place to grab a drink away from Hawaiian shirt night at the Cheesecake factory.

Con:  He has a gun, and we’re not talking about his arm.

Interleague Bonus: Miguel Tejada, 30-something, SS

Pro:  He’s got some stuff you’ve just gotta try.

Con:  The O’s former shortstop has trouble getting into establishments of repute because he never carries a valid ID.

Record: 54-59, 13.5 GB

Next Game: Guthrie (8-8, 3.35 ERA) vs. Mendoza (3-4, 7.00 ERA)

   Subscribe   Feed

Include other special offers from Examiner.com
Terms of Use