
Google search the words “women and friends” and you will get more than 145,000,000 hits, that’s 15-million more hits than “women and love.” It’s not surprising that there is so much written about female friendship. A study in 2000 by UCLA researchers found that women’s friendships are part of our biological behavioral pattern. According to UCLA principal investigator Shelley E. Taylor, “women are more likely to manage their stress with a tend-and-befriend response by nurturing their children or seeking social contact, especially with other women." In other words, we seek our own to feel better.
In popular culture, one can look to the popular HBO series “Sex and the City” and as well as the film that brought girlfriends out in droves or any other chic flicks . Female friendship is about camaraderie, community, sharing and quite frankly, it makes us feel good. It begins when we are young and if we are lucky, we get to experience it in our everyday adult life too.
A trend we are seeing now is an attempt to recapture some of the girlfriend experience of growing up; those joyous slumber parties where girls gathered to laugh, be silly and strengthen the bonds that help us grow as adults.
That’s where Tammy Sarto Hauser comes in. She’s the founder of the Ultimate Pajama Party described as a “slumber party for grown up girls,” now in it’s second year in the Twin Cities. Hauser is the CEO of the Idea Factory as well as Blue Sky Thinking. She took some time to chat about her vision with the Ultimate Pajama Party and why bringing gals of all ages together again is such a compelling trend.
Deb: Hi Tammy, thanks for taking some time to chat. What is the Ultimate Pajama Party and who is it for?
Tammy: This event is for women like me- in our forties, career women who have raised a family and now have a little more time- finally- for our girlfriends and ourselves. It has all the elements of my childhood slumber parties- pjs, fun foods, fun friends, girly activities like spa stuff, palm reading and shopping, irreverent activities, and girl power spirit coupled with what I like to do now to have fun.
Deb: How did you come up with this vision and why are do you feel impassioned by it?
Tammy: It’s a funny story- I came up with this event in the hot tub at the marsh! My trainer had just told me about a charity event where she was spending all night walking around the Hopkins high school gym for money. I said, off the cuff- that sounds awful- I wish someone would pay me to sleep! I took that single thought and turned it into a grown up girls slumber party filled with all the things I like to do and the people I like to do them with.
Deb: is there a movement or a trend for these opportunities and can you expound upon it?
Tammy: Definitely. There is another group in Canada that does women’s weekend pj parties complete with workshops on eating right, managing your finances getting your life in order etc. They have several hundred women come from all over Canada to participate each year. Hotels offer weekend get away travel for girlfriends- Vegas, New York etc.
I think the movement is inwardly focused toward oneself rather than outwards toward the world. What I mean is that when your reach age 40, you start asking yourself- what is this all about? Who do I really love and want to spend time with? How can I use my limited time to have fun again/ where is that little girl who wanted to rock the world? I see the movement happening in the recently released and best selling book, The Girls from Ames: A Story of Women and a Forty-Year Friendship. The book resonated with me because these women are my age and I grew up in Iowa too. They talk about the fact that they remain in many ways the girls they once were and have held tightly to that notion to get them through adulthood. The energy that women create when they are together in girl packs is so positive and so contagious. I love that spirit!
Deb: What makes these events so special?
Tammy: It is the unique combination of irreverent humor in a totally fabulous and upscale environment, fun activities like palm readers and pet psychics, and a one stop shop for everything girl- spa, shopping, drinking, eating. And it is just for girls----we have men attend (gay men, single men who are auctioned off, and married men who sell things and carry shopping bags for the gals –but they are not the focus and that is so liberating given we live in a male world outside the door.
Deb: What do you think women get out of the events?
Tammy: The women tell me it is the most fun they have had in years. They say they get to spend time with mothers, sisters, and friends in their pajamas in a relaxing, delightful and silly environment where they can just let their hair down. The dancing is a big hit too with the band Belladiva rocking us to our favorite 70’s and 80’s hits.
Deb: What do you get out of the event?
Tammy: Hopefully it pays for my daughter’s college education! I also have the best time of the year with my own gal pals and my sweet hubby. It is so rewarding for me to have taken an idea and create something- a business from it that lives and breathers and has its own life. It has been my particular gift through life to create amazingly creative and fun events and this one culminates in all of my skills, passions, connections, and ideas.
Deb: Will you be bringing this idea to other cities?
Tammy: The Ultimate Pajama Party heads to Seattle November 6, 2010 and then to Denver and San Diego in 2011. We will always be in Minneapolis in January.
Deb: What do you want people to know?
Tammy: Get your tickets now- www.theultimatepajamaparty.com. It will sell out. I keep the party limited to 350 to make sure everyone has a fabulous time and can experience all the event has to offer. I’d also like them to know about our charity- the Junior League of Minneapolis. 33% of all tickets sold support these very worthwhile and important programs for women and children; I am honored to have them as our partner this year.
So girlfriends, get your pajamas and for a night, bring out the best of female friendship. Learn more about this event on January 16, 2010, www.theultimatepajamaparty.com