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NFL picks: Mall of Fame

I was dreaming when I wrote this, forgive me if it goes astray. My picks for this week may be a bit off, I had to go to a mall this week. Nothing makes you feel older than seeing a mainstay of the '80s warped into a shrine to unintentional humor. You can check that out here.

Anyway, here are the NFL picks for week 11. As always, these are merely the opinions of one man and in spite of my momentous 13-1 week last week, they should not be used as the basis for any financial investment of any kind. Although if I was a betting man, I'd wager my house right now. Seriously. If rash develops, discontinue usage.

WEEK ELEVEN:

NY Jets at New England - Due to a scheduling conflict, somehow I've already missed this one.
Pick: Patriots, because I'm too stupid to lie.

Denver at Atlanta - Wasn't this a Super Bowl once? Yeah, I don't remember either.
Pick: Falcons

Houston at Indianapolis - Sage Rosenfels, Pro Bowl quarterback or legendary Jewish cowboy?
Pick: Colts

Oakland at Miami - Last week the Raiders fumbled the opening kickoff, then somehow things got worse. Oakland became the second team since the merger to get four interceptions in a game and still find a way to lose. The slogan "Commitment To Excellence" is now as inappropriate as Al Davis' collection of black track suits.
Pick: Dolphins

Detroit at Carolina - The Daunte Culpepper story is just fascinating. A guy who was out of football two months ago gets the call, comes back to the league, and steps right into a starting job, where he's leads his awful team right to the bottom of the league. For the big Disney ending, the credits will have to roll right as he jogs out onto the field to take his first snap for the Lions.
Pick: Panthers

Philadelphia at Cincinnati - Chad Ocho Cinco Johnson Mellancamp says a talk with Eagles QB Donovan McNabb before the season helped him turn things around. Let's see, this year he had 312 yards and two touchdowns in the first half of the season. That's turning it around all right. Did McNabb give the auto industry a pep talk, too?
Pick: Eagles

Chicago at Green Bay - With a Green Bay win and a Vikings loss, this entire division will be .500. Except for Detroit of course, but I think they're only provisional members at this point.
Pick: Packers

New Orleans at Kansas City - This is one I'd love to pick for an upset, but I just can't do it. Kansas City couldn't make the Big 12 Championship at this point.
Pick: Saints

St. Louis at San Francisco - It really seems like Mike Martz and Mike Singletary are reenacting one of those 80's buddy-cop movies, where the two total opposites who can't stand each other are thrown together and wind up solving crimes.
Pick: 49ers

Arizona at Seattle - Kurt Warner has had a career that would give most people motion sickness. It's good he's religious, because leading the Rams to a Super Bowl and the Cardinals to a playoff win in the same career would put him on the fast track to sainthood.
Pick: Cardinals

Dallas at Washington - Tony Romo is not only the returning hero for Dallas, he's also the last great excuse. This game will be remembered as either be the moment it all came together, or the moment the Cowboys started deciding who'd be on next year's roster.
Pick: Cowboys

Cleveland at Buffalo - As the perfectly-haired Aaron Catalfalo points out, the current controversy around the Browns is whether or not they quit last week. It's an interesting question. As a coach, would you rather admit your team quit (which is fixable), or admit your team sucks (which isn't)?
Pick: Bills

Also, I'll pick the Jags over the Titans but I'm not sure why, Bucs over Vikings, Giants over the Ravens, the Steelers over the Chargers, "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" over "Pushing Daisies," Shania Twain speaking over Shania Twain singing, and Vic Mackey over Shane Vendrell.

Last Week: 13-14 (93%) 89-55 (61%) overall