Wedding vendor lists: real recommendations or just paid advertising?

I got a call today from a guy who claimed to represent a restaurant where I conduct weddings frequently, telling me about the venue’s new “preferred vendor guide,” a glossy magazine-style referral list his company was printing on the restaurant's behalf.  This guy "wanted to offer me the opportunity” to pay for representation on what was previously a real vendor referral list--you know, a list of vendors a location endorses as being high-quality, trustworthy service providers?--which unfortunately now, in this case, seems to have devolved into paid advertising.

Believe it or not, a lot of those “preferred vendor lists” you receive when you sign with a venue are actually paid listings--and sometimes  they list companies who have never actually worked the venue.  You’re supposed to think these are actual recommendations from someone who knows a vendor’s work and cares about your wedding, but that might not be the case.

I hear all you overstressed and underslept brides and grooms asking, “So why should I care?  Isn’t the list just a tool to make it easier for me to find vendors, so why would it matter whether it contains paid listings or not?”

Fair question.  Here’s the answer: a paid list may make your planning easier but it won’t necessarily assure you a higher quality vendor (though you may be duped into thinking it will.)  Ultimately you pay for those listing fees in elevated costs and increased risk of booking a crummy vendor.  And because you only get married once--at least, we hope so--a crummy vendor doesn't have to worry about whether or not you're coming back.

A non-paid referral list is actually a helpful resource because it's an actual recommendation, showing that a location will go to bat for a vendor on the basis of their previous good work.  It also usually means that they like working with a particular vendor, and that the vendor has shown they are reliable and will ultimately make the venue look good by helping make your wedding a success.

A paid list might consist of--and perhaps this is a bit shocking, but it's not that uncommon--vendors who have never even seen the venue but have doled out a significant sum of money (in the L.A. area, we’re talking hundreds of dollars or more annually) to appear in your bridal packet.  These vendors can be untried and may be complete losers, but they paid for their listing, so there they are.  And the venue’s not telling you, “Oh well, you know, we really don’t know the guy, so you're taking your chances.”  You might assume the management is endorsing a vendor, when they really aren't--they just like collecting the listing fees.

As you can surmise, a paid list can indicate that the venue is more interested in pulling in as much money as possible from as many directions as they can--skimming from vendors as well as clients--and is less concerned about how your wedding goes.  Yes, they may “invite” vendors who already have good reputations to pay to appear on their paid lists (just like the guy who called me today) but that’s still not best-practices, as those undisclosed fees will be trickling down to you in increased costs.

Don’t think that only tacky Vegas-style wedding chapels solicit paid listings from vendors; some very high-end hotels and event spaces will only provide names of vendors who have paid for listings, and ambitious vendors are eager to pony up so they can expand their reach to upscale customers.   And a paid listing, no matter how tony the venue, is not a measure of quality assurance; it just appears to be one.

I won’t pay to be on vendor lists anymore (I used to, when I didn’t know any better) and I don’t accept or offer “referral fees”--aka kickbacks--either.  I think it’s inappropriate, particularly since as both a minister and public officer I’m obligated to model and practice ethical behavior in my business and wedding dealings.  At least, I think I’m obligated to; apparently not everyone agrees. Here's a quick "referral fee" story, so you can see how complicated this whole disclosure issue is in the wedding industry:

The Association of Bridal Consultants, a trade association for wedding planners and professionals (full disclosure: I’m a vendor member of ABC, and I like their educational workshops very much) now includes a requirement in its Code of Ethics that members “disclose to clients any payment received from suppliers.”  However, as a recent meeting I attended, a long-time industry maven explained that if you were an “event producer” and not an “event planner” it wasn’t required to make those disclosures, since often the benefits received were in the form of bundled pricing and value-added services as opposed to cash or kickbacks.   Is this a fair distinction between types of benefit received? or convenient rhetoric?  Should an "event producer" also be willing to produce a budget breakdown honestly reflecting those pricing benefits, if asked?   You decide.

Anyway, back to vendor lists: as a prospective client and good consumer, it’s perfectly cricket for you to ask any banquet manager, coordinator, or event producer who hands you a referral list if the vendors paid to be on it, and don’t be surprised if they look completely flummoxed when you do.   You’re not supposed to know about those dodgy and unmentionable industry practices, and it’s especially taboo for an wedding professional to discuss them with a client. I think that’s all the more reason why you should raise the question; it will help put venues and planners on notice that they should be disclosing whether their lists were compiled on the basis of financial consideration.

If you find that you've been offered a paid list, inquire whether those listed have ever worked at the venue or if their paid listing was solicited sight-unseen (yep, it happens, they just look 'em up on the internet and ask if they want to advertise on the list.)  Follow up by asking to speak with someone at the facility who has actually worked with these vendors and if they would endorse them.  If you really have chutzpah, ask them to guarantee the vendor’s dependability in writing--they won’t do it, but you might frighten them into reconsidering how they represent their list to future clients.

After this inquiry your banquet manager or planner may have to excuse themselves to take a Xanax, but you’ll have a better idea where you stand with vendor selection and whether or not you should be conducting your own vendor search.

I wish this were the only squirrelly industry fee scheme--believe me, it isn't.  Wait until you hear about online vendor referral sites and how they sell your info.  Stay tuned!

In the meantime, take a lesson from Santa Claus: when you’re getting your vendor list, check it twice; that’s how you’ll find out if a vendor (or venue) is naughty or nice (we always hope nice, of course.)

Until next time, a sweet and long life to you all.


Elizabeth Oakes welcomes your feedback at weddingexaminer@gmail.com.

 

Topics: wedding planning , Wedding Industry Practices