Things are getting really scary in Texas, Part 2: You have the right to remain silent

March 17, 4:29 PMSecularism ExaminerPaul Fidalgo

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A young student who is totally not being
forced to pray, and how dare you even
suggest such a thing?
(AP Photo/Paul Sakuma)

Tremble, all ye of even modest intelligence who e'en think to creep into the morass of confusion and disarray that is the Great State of Texas.

Yesterday, I gave everybody nightmares by introducing them to Robert Bowie Johnson, Jr., and his legitimately terrifying book about how the National Academy of Science is actually an evil cabal of "seductive" demagogues, hell-bent on turning cute, white, Texas children into "evo-atheists." I don't know about you, but I tossed and turned all night.

As I warned, however, the terror doesn't stop there. No, my friends, Texas (where they even fight over just how hard they should teach the Bible in public school) is a more frightening place than is dreamt of in your philosophy. For yesterday, the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals (actually situated in New Orleans, but concerning a Texas-based dispute) bestowed gleaming constitutionality upon a Texas law that mandates (yes, as in requires) schools to enforce a daily "moment of silence" in order to "reflect, pray, meditate or engage in any other silent activities."

So what? you say. That's not nearly as terrifying as that snake, you say. Well, shut up for a second, stop interrupting me, and I'll explain why it's so scary.

First, if my italics didn't make it clear, the question was not whether it was constitutional for an individual teacher, student, or class to have a daily moment of silence. No, the court ruled that it was kosher for the state itself to compel every student to participate in the moment of silence. Compliance is mandatory.

Well, come on now, you say -- and I wish you'd stop, because it's very rude -- it's a good thing for the kids to do! Well, some folks agree with you. Per Beaumont Enterprise:
 

"I think it serves a good purpose," said Gail Krohn, superintendent of Nederland ISD. "It calms everybody down and lets people face the day."

That may very well be. If that is the case, then at the next staff meeting you should say, "Hey, homeroom teachers. If you want to impose a rule in your own class that says the kids have to shut the hell up for 60 seconds straight, might be a good way to keep yourself from murdering the little buggers," that is completely different from saying, well, exactly what the law says [PDF] (official edits included), which is:
 

The board of trustees of each school district may shall provide for a period the observance of one minute of silence at the beginning of the first class of each school day at each school in the district following the recitation of the pledges of allegiance to the United States and Texas flags under Subsection (b). during which a During the one-minute period, each student may, as the student chooses, reflect, pray, or meditate., or engage in any other silent activity that is not likely to interfere with or distract another student.

As you can see by the strikethrough of "may," they really, seriously mean that the kids have to do it. And that very wording also specifically mentions "pray" as one of the options. It seems to me that if no one intended prayer to be the point of the law, they would not have listed any options at all, and just said that there would be silence, period. But "pray" is in the official language, which was where the problems began:
 

David and Shannon Croft sued on behalf of their three children, who are enrolled in the Carrollton-Farmers Branch Independent School District. The suburban Dallas couple contended that including the word “pray” in the mandatory moment of silence law was a way for lawmakers to advance religion in schools.

But really, you silly Crofts, it's not about prayer.
 

"In an age where children are bombarded with distractions, beginning each school day with a moment of silence offers a welcome moment of quiet contemplation," Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott said Monday.

Exactly. Except:
 

Circuit Judge Edith Brown Clement noted the lawmaker who sponsored the moment of silence bill expressed a desire to add prayer to Texas’ existing statute . . .

So as Richard Connelly blogged at the Houston Press, it really is a time "when middle-school boys contemplate not the ass of the girl in front of them but the everlasting peace that comes through devoting your life to Our Savior." All kidding aside, though, I'm going to give the good Attorney General Abbott the benefit of the doubt on this one. Let's see what else he says now that he's won. Here's something from his own press release:
 

As the state's lawyer, Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott defended young Texans' right to begin each school day with the Pledge of Allegiance and a moment of silence.

Whoa! Hold on! Can we back up a little bit here?

No?

I think you should allow me the courtesy of backing up, since you've been so uncouth as to interrupt me so many times over the course of this post.

Thank you. Now: 

It wasn't the students who were somehow petitioning the court to be allowed to have a moment of silence! Abbot and the state of Texas were not fighting for "young Texans' right to begin each school day with the Pledge of Allegiance and a moment of silence," nor were they fighting to "protect religious freedom" as the solicitor general claimed. In fact, it was the state fighting for it's right to impose the moment of silence on the students and teachers! Not one 'young Texan's' rights were defended by the government of Texas in this case. None. Zip. No, the government was fighting for the expansion of its own powers.

The conceit that Abbot and the state of Texas were fighting for the rights of students is not only arrogant and misguided, but a flat out lie. In his own official press release, the attorney general of Texas opened with a lie. I would like him to take a minute and silently reflect upon that.

*  *  *  * 
I can't imagine that this will be the last horror story out of Texas, so expect the series to continue down the road. In the meantime, make sure you check out Part 1: "Beware the evo-atheists!"