Celebrating mother's day when your child has two fathers

May 7, 7:43 PMAustin Gay Parenting ExaminerFrederick Reinhardt

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These Hallmark holidays get confusing for children of same-sex couples.  How do you celebrate mother’s day when your child has two fathers?  How do you pick which mother to celebrate when your child has two mothers?  I say we eliminate both holidays and just celebrate “parent’s day”.  With the face of the American family changing, we could just celebrate a day for everyone who chooses to parent a child.  In lieu of alienating everyone for suggesting such a thing, here are some suggestions for alternative mother’s day celebrations.

Have “mother’s day” for both fathers (or mothers).  In a same-sex household the parent generally fills in for both of the “traditional” role-models.  For example, in my household I do the cooking and shopping, arguably traditional female roles.  But I also take care of the car maintenance and yard work, traditional male roles.  My partner takes care of the laundry, dishes, and is most definitely the more nurturing parent.  Female?  Not particularly.  We could both celebrate mother’s (and father’s) day. 
 

Celebrate the grandmothers instead.  This is the route we’ve chosen for the past few years.  Rather than making a huge production at our own homes, we make the day about each of the grandmothers and have the kids celebrate them as well.  The grandmothers love it.  The kids love it.  And nothing, really, is easier than sending your folks a picture of the kids with a mother’s day card and calling it a day. 
 

Celebrate the females in your children’s lives (other than the grandmothers).  One of the arguments about same-sex families is that the children won’t have adequate exposure genders opposite of the gay parent’s gender.  As if it was a logical assumption that gay men would ONLY associate with other men and lesbians would ONLY associate with other women.  Hogwash.  There are so many “aunties” in our children’s lives that we could celebrate each and every one of them on mother’s day.  Of course we’d go broke if we celebrated each of these very important women in our children’s lives.  
 

Whomever you chose to celebrate this weekend, do it with style.