MLS Power Rankings: Week 13

June 16, 12:28 PMBoston Pro Soccer ExaminerL.E. Eisenmenger

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1. Houston Dynamo (+2): Cam Weaver put the Dynamo back on top with two goals against Dallas and the fabulous flick-on assist in the 1-0 Chivas result. Stuart Holden’s cheerful attitude helps and yes, they play clean and solid defense. Dominic Kinnear apparently still has the stuff, even with lion king Brian Ching recovering on the sidelines. Suspect they’ll baste Real Salt Lake with barbecue sauce and snarf them down like appetizers.

2. DC United (+2): Honor, integrity, determination. Most goals (22) in the league.

3. Chicago Fire (-1): RT last week. Chicago are pacing themselves for the MLS Cup, aware it’s a long season. There will be ups and downs, but expect them in the top quarter all summer.

4. Columbus Crew (+1): Here comes MLS Player of the Week Guillermo Barros Schelloto leading the league with 10 goals and this is going to be great.

5. Chivas USA (-4): If this team wasn’t so obnoxious, had a little more class, a little more style, they could be popular.

6. Kansas City (+3): The Wizards are enjoying themselves and the confidence that goes with that will take them places - like the playoffs. Davy Arnoud, Josh Wolff, and Claudio Lopez have beautiful chemistry right now.

7. Colorado Rapids (-1): And now they have Pat Noonan? Great times ahead, look out Kansas City.

8. Seattle Sounders (-1): The Sounders get a biscuit for beating San Jose, but probably will get sent to the doghouse for having an accident after DC United comes to visit this weekend.

9. Toronto FC (+1): Beating NY is almost not worth mentioning, and next week they have a bye so not much news here.

10. New England (-2): At Kansas City the Revolution chased Davy Arnoud and Claudio Lopez around like they had stolen their lunch money and that performance justly ranks them closer to the bottom than this. However, they have two weeks of SuperLiga to acquire new strikers to complement Twellman and that success will determine whether they climb back up in the table or hang out by the swing set with the outcast Red Bulls.

11. Real Salt Lake (+1): Got their stuff together to beat Galaxy 2-0, but Javier Morales and Kyle Beckerman should get their karma on with the funny, funny, charming Kyle and Javi show (bilingual, please!) before they face up to #1 Dynamo. 

12. LA Galaxy (-1): Being shut out 2-0 by Real Salt Lake was not supposed to happen. How are you going to explain this to David? And what are you going to wear when you tell him?

13. FC Dallas (0): Rethink the coach, the marketing, the uniforms, and start fresh with Kenny Cooper, Dave van den Bergh, Dax McCarty, Brek Shea, Drew Moor, and a few others. Add six Mexican/Central American players, shake, and go.

14. San Jose Earthquakes (0): Got rid of Cam Weaver to be more competitive with the Red Bulls. League leader for most goals allowed (26), well done!

15. New York Red Bulls (0): One can only imagine the trepidation with which Red Bulls fans don their scarves, down an extra drink, explain their habit to concerned friends and relations. They’ve studied Osario so closely some part of his spirit has migrated to theirs and though they rend their garments and tear their hair and eat nasty stadium food, they cannot shake off that cold loneliness. And then, just like Groundhog Day, the Red Bulls emerge from the tunnel.