Murder message: men are victims, too

February 20, 11:27 AMCharlotte Crime ExaminerGreg Rickabaugh

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While the alleged assault of singer Rihanna by boyfriend Chris Brown brings national awareness to the abuse of women, a Charlotte group is capitalizing on a Valentine's Day homicide to show that men can be victims too.

In the Charlotte case, 33-year-old Christopher Love (R) is charged in the Feb. 14 shooting death of his ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend, Brian Oxner, 40, police said. Officers were called to a home in the Steele Creek division around 2:30 a.m. Feb. 14, where they found the victim inside the residence suffering from an apparent gunshot wound. The victim was pronounced dead on the scene and the suspect was identified and taken into custody, police said.

The case is the city's first domestic violence-related homicide of the year. There were 11 last year.

Members of The Domestic Violence Advocacy Council held a silent march in uptown Charlotte on Thursday, a tradition following any domestic violence death. In addition to their usual signs, the group made sure to carry one that read, "Domestic Violence Affects Men, Too."

"There's a perception out there that domestic violence is a women's issue when in reality 95 percent of domestic violence cases involve women being abused by men - either the husband or boyfriend. The reality is that it's a man issue because men are doing 100 percent of the abuse in those cases," said Mike Sexton, with the Mecklenburg County Women's Commission. "So the issue for us is how to we do a better job of communicating."

Mr. Sexton said the Charlotte case is a good example of the danger someone can face when they move on with a relationship. A lot of abusers have an ownership mentality. "So you still have to have your guard up," he said.

That's where safety planning becomes important. While victims can't leave all the time, they can educate themselves and get out of the line of fire, Mr. Sexton said.

"For example, if they see it coming, and they are in the bathroom, the bathroom can be a dangerous place because there are a lot of items that can be thrown. If they can just move to the living room, or an open space, they may be safer," Mr. Sexton said. "You never want to see anyone get to the point where they are killed."