Sunday Best: Bisexual celebrities, atheists, and outcasts

July 12, 2:55 AMInternational LGBT Issues ExaminerKelvin Lynch

Previous Next

Comment Print Email RSS Subscribe

Subscribe

Get alerts when there is a new article from the International LGBT Issues Examiner. Read Examiner.com's terms of use.

Email Address   Include other special offers from Examiner.com Terms of Use

             Duncan James, a happy bisexual

In case you missed it ...

Bisexuality Examiner Mike Szymanski reported that hunky Brit pop star Duncan James of the band Blue declared he was "100 percent happy being bisexual."

The sexy 31-year-old musician and father has been linked to a string of women, including Geri Halliwell, Tara Palmer Tomkinson, Martine McCutcheon and ex-Big Brother winner Kate Lawler. 

James said,

"Yes, I was labeled a womanizer and yes, I did sleep with a lot of women. But there were tell-tale signs I was that way inclined [to be bisexual]. 

"If I have a connection with someone on a deep level that is what it's about for me," said James. "And if I'm with someone then I am monogamous. I'm sure a lot of gay people would be put off by the thought of having sex with a woman. It's not like that for me."

He continued, "I know most gay guys think, 'Bi Now, Gay Later' and maybe one day the thought of being with a woman won't work for me. But likewise, maybe the thought of being with a guy might be the same. I might want to settle down with a girl to have a family lifestyle. That appeals to me too."

Which is harder - coming out gay or coming out atheist?  That's the question Boston Atheism Examiner Jacqueline Lavache was wondering about, because telling your loved ones you don't believe in God can be much harder than telling them you are gay.

She recalled a joke:  If you’re afraid to tell your parents that you’re an atheist, just tell them you’re gay, and after they are done flipping out say, “Don’t worry, I’m not gay, I’m only an atheist.” (I remember a similar way of coming out to your parents - tell them you have cancer, then see how relieved they are when you tell them you don't really have cancer, you're just gay.)

Jacueline recounted her own difficulties coming out as an agnostic to her Cathollic family.  She remembers her mother saying, "Well, at least you're not an atheist."  Jacqueline said "A year or two later I finally came to the conclusion I was an atheist, but at that point my family was resigned to the fact."

It was several years later before she came out as bisexual.  She said that experience was extremely different, because "I was very homophobic  ... which stemmed from my religious upbringing.  I always thought I was straight because I knew I liked men and I simply ignored the part of me that was attracted to women. Eventually, well after I had abandoned religion, I did a self examination and came to the conclusion that I was bisexual. I remember saying it out loud to myself and it felt right. As soon as I knew, I didn’t try to hide it. Coming out to my parents was pretty much, 'By the way, I’m bi,' and the response to that was 'We still love you no matter what.' That was it.

However, Jacqueline sad she has heard many stories that do not have such a good ending. Many atheists who come out to their families, especially in fundamentalist families, find themselves disowned. Coming out atheist can sometimes be much worse than coming out gay.

Artwork by Caroline Sykora

Atlanta Lesbian Relationships Examiner Leslie Davis, asked "What's the beef with bisexuals?"

Leslie explores the very real problems misconceptions bisexual people face from both the gay and straight worlds:

Many in the heterosexual community mistakenly assume that bisexuality denotes an increased likelihood of infidelity or risky sexual behavior ... bisexuals often encounter judgment from the gay community as well. Many lesbians have issues with bisexuals, referring to them as ‘fence sitters,’ ‘fauxmosexual,’ ‘heteroflexible,’ ‘AC/DC’ or ‘LUG’ (lesbian until graduation). All of the terms denigrate bisexuality, treating it as an invalid sexual orientation based on indecisiveness."

"Bisexuality makes sense to me intellectually," said Leslie.  "Being attracted to others based on who they are, rather than plumbing, seems reasonable. On a practical level my hormones don’t operate according to that paradigm, but my sexual orientation has no bearing on the validity of someone else’s sexual expression. I don’t question the attractions of others. What consensual adults do with one another is none of my business if I am not one of the participants."

Leslie says she has a hypothesis that sexuality, like many things, operates based on a standard bell curve, with bisexuals in the middle. "I have no idea what the standard deviation would be on the curve," she says, "but I suspect that bisexuals outnumber homosexuals."

And finally, several celebrities have come out recently as bisexual, including singers Fergie, Pink, Ricky Martin, Lady Gaga and actress Megan Fox.  In the case of Pink and Ricky Martin, they quickly retracted their admissions, saying they were taken out of context.  But Fergie, Fox, and Gaga maintain that they are proud to be bisexual. 

Miami Celebrity Headlines Examiner Colleen Starr said "Fergie admits she's bisexual.  Josh Duhamel is a very lucky man." [BTW, if he says he's bisexual too, my head will explode.] 

Fergie (l) with hubbie Josh Duhamel

Fergie told The Sun,  "Put it this way, I’ve experimented definitely, but I have never had a steady girlfriend". Fergie also announced there will be some girl-on-girl action in the Black Eyed Peas video "I've Got A Feeling."  She said the girls in the video were hot.

And Celebrity News Examiner Liz Barrett reported that Megan Fox has no qualms whatseover about being bisexual, telling Esquire, "  have no question in my mind about being bisexual. I could see myself in a relationship with a girl."

Scroll down to leave comments.