True Blood season two off to a bloody good start

June 15, 5:35 AMInternational LGBT Issues ExaminerKelvin Lynch

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Maryann is stirring up True Blood         Photo: HBO

The season premiere of True Blood season two on HBO didn't disappoint, and set the stage for a whole new direction for the popular brainchild of gay producer/director Alan Ball.

First of all, we found out Lafayette is still alive (thank you!).  He's been imprisoned by Eric the vampire sherriff in a godawfful dungeon along with a few others, presumably for dealing V.  We also witnessed Eric brutally tear apart and eat of one of Lafayette's fellow prisoners, the anti-gay redneck who ordered the "AIDS burger" from him as as a joke at Merlotte's last season.  That unfortunate guy was being held for killing three vampires by burning down their house.

The dead person in the back of doofus Detective Andy's car turned out to be fake voodoo priestess Miss Jeanette, whose heart was snatched clean from her body.  Tara was questioned as a main suspect since she and her mother had a history with Miss Jeanette , who performed fake exorcisms on them both using peyote and ipecac syrup. 

Maryann showed up once again to pick up Tara from the police station and confronted Tara's mother in a big way, shaking her hand and delivering the best line of the night:  

"What a rare opportunity this is - I've always wondered what it would be like to gaze into the eyes of someone so devoid of human compassion that she would abandon her own child when she needed you most.  Just as I thought.  Emptyness, nothing inside.  It's always something out there that gets the blame for bad or for credit, whether its gin or it's Jesus." 

Maryann then swept Tara away back to her mansion, where she was treated to some sweet bonding time with new beau-hunk Eggs by poolside.

Sookie met Bill's "extremely annoyong" ball-and-chain Jessica, the 17-year-old he was forced to convert to a vampire as his punishment for killing another vampire defending Sookie at Fangtasia.  Sookie also found out Bill killed her child-molesting Uncle Bartlett, who left Sookie his entire life savings of $11,000.  However, none of this was enough to stop Sookie and Bill from having a night of hot and steamy passion where he once again fed from her.

We found out that Sam first met Maryann when he was a teenager and first turned into a dog.  The two had sex, but Sam freaked out when, well, something happened to Maryann in the heat of passion.  We also discovered where Sam got all that cash - he stole it from Maryann, along with her jewelry.  Sam showed up at Maryann's mansion to try and return the money to her, but she refused it, saying, "you think it's your money I want?  What makes you think this is about you?" as they both watched Eggs and Tara kiss.

Dimwitted Jason studied up on the Fellowship of the Sun, and we learned that the son of its leader's father was killed by vampires (wasn't it the dead father who visited Jason in jail?).   Jason was invited by the good-looking FOTS leader Rev. Steve Newlin and his good-looking wife Nan to become a candidate for the leadership program for the institute, which they said would only cost him $1200.  Jason told him he didn't have that kind of money, but lo and behold, the next day Sookie gave Jason the $11,000 inheritence from Uncle Bartlett. 

Sam hired new waitress Daphne (Evan Rachel Wood), who is rumored to have a big storyline this season as Sam's new love interest.  The only thing we know about Daphne is that her previous job was at the Cracker Barrel.

Patrons in Merlotte's were gossiping that Rene/Drew Marshall might have been turned into a vampire and killed Miss Jeannette.  Sounds like a long shot, but you never take anything for granted on an Alan Ball show.

Burning questions for this week:

1. Who wanted to kill Miss Jeanette so much they would cut out her heart while she was still alive, and why did they plant the body in Detective Andy's car?  Should we read anything into Bill's statement that Jessica "maybe" wasn't responsible for killing Miss Jeanette? Or that Maryann also called Tara's mother "heartless"?  If Maryann is the killer, is Tara's mom next?

2.  What does Maryann really want from Sam and Tara?  And why did she seem to have superhuman strength when she slapped her butler (or is it slave?) Carl to the ground for the innocent act of bringing Tara and Eggs fresh towels by the poolside? She seemed pretty upset that Eggs didn't get the chance to kiss Tara, which he did later at Merlotte's. There must be something pretty damned important about those two getting together.

3.  Why the hell is Eggs named Eggs?

4.  Is the FOTS's reaching out to Jason a mere coincidence, or do they have bigger plans for him?  Nan asked Jason, "weren't you the one who was wrongly accused of all those murders in Bon Temps?".  Dumb-as-a-box-of-hair Jason as a fine candidate for a leadership program? Seems a little suspicious.  And is Steve Newlin's dad now a vampire?

5.  The preview for next week's episode showed Lafayette offering to become a vampire for Eric.  Will Eric take him up on the offer?  Will they become lovers? Now THAT I'd like to see.

6.  Next week's preview also shows Eric asking a favor of Bill regarding Sookie (fan pages have already revealed he needs her to solve a crime in Texas, where something extremely weird is supposed to happen).  Does this mean Sookie is Eric's employee now?  Or does he have ulterior motives?

Any thoughts?

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