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Stupid Questions III: Who killed John F. Kennedy’s jelly donut, and where does Lincoln fit in?
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Stupid Questions I
Stupid Questions II
More of those “unanswerable” questions students commonly ask history teachers.
Q. In his famous Berlin speech, did President Kennedy accidentally refer to himself as a jelly donut?
A. Nein.
The gist:
The gist:
According to those who believe virtually everything they read (thus making them more of a selective human than someone who doesn’t believe anything), Kennedy should have said, “Ich bin Berliner” (“I am a citizen of Berlin”), rather than “Ich bin ein Berliner.” Yes, a Berliner is a type of jelly-filled pastry. However, if Michael Bloomberg introduced himself as a New Yorker, you wouldn’t think he was a pretentious magazine famous for its inscrutably unfunny cartoons.
According to linguist Jürgen Eichhoff, the indefinite article “ein” is necessary to differentiate between a metaphorical citizen of Berlin, and a literal Berliner.
Q. Speaking of Kennedy, wasn’t he killed by the Mafia/Castro/Soviet operatives/CIA/FBI/LBJ/zombies/Mayans/George H.W. Bush/Woody Harrelson’s father/dinosaurs/aliens/robots?
A. No, Mr. Stone. He was killed by Lee Harvey Oswald.
The gist:
The gist:
I’ll be the first to admit that it is fun to entertain wild ideas about covert organizations secretly plotting earth-shattering events. About the best explanation I have ever heard was by Mike Wallace in a documentary on the assassination. To paraphrase: When you weigh the Holocaust on one side and the Nazis on the other, you have a rough balance. Greatest tragedy versus greatest evil. When you try to rectify the death of a popular president at the hands of a nutbar with a cheap rifle, it just doesn’t add up – people have a need to attribute greater meaning to JFK’s death.
No way I can summarize all the crackpot theories in this space. Fortunately, I don’t have to. For those without the patience to read Gerald Posner’s excellent “Case Closed,” John McAdams has put together a point-by-point refutation of all the craziness. Check it out.
Q. Kennedy and Lincoln have TONS in common. More than you would expect from any two random presidents. Explain!
A. Well, they were elected to Congress 100 years apart. Other than that, much of what you think they shared in common is either expected, or just wrong.
The gist:
A. Well, they were elected to Congress 100 years apart. Other than that, much of what you think they shared in common is either expected, or just wrong.
The gist:
I am not even sure what the point behind the comparisons is supposed to be. Ghosts? Reincarnation? Fate? General spookiness? Whatever the case, what about the incredible dissimilarities between the two?
Q. Lincoln, elected in 1860, assassinated. Kennedy, elected in 1960, assassinated. What’s the story with the Indian curse leading to presidents elected in ‘0’ years dying in office?
A. Spooky, but inconsistent, and no evidence such a curse was ever uttered.
The gist:
Don’t stop with Kennedy and Lincoln.
The gist:
Don’t stop with Kennedy and Lincoln.
William Henry Harrison (1840), died of pneumonia.
James Garfield (1880), assassinated.
William McKinley, (1900 – albeit his second term), assassinated.
Warren G. Harding (1920), died of a stroke.
Franklin Roosevelt (third term – 1940), died of a cerebral hemorrhage.
On the other hand…
James Monroe: Elected 1820, died in 1831.
Zachary Taylor: Elected in 1848, died in 1850.
Ronald Reagan: Elected 1980, died in 2004.
George W. Bush: Elected 2000, still alive.
(I omit the election of 1800 – Thomas Jefferson won – because it took place before the supposed curse.)
The Indian curse is attributed to Tecumseh, whose forces were defeated in 1811 by William Henry Harrison, the first ’00 president to die in office.
Stupid Questions I: Gay Lincoln, stupid Bush, Jewish Hitler, and superfluous Sacagawea
Stupid Questions II: Suicidal Munchkins and fake landings on Pink Floyd’s ‘Dark Side of the Moon'
Stupid Questions II: Suicidal Munchkins and fake landings on Pink Floyd’s ‘Dark Side of the Moon'
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