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Male survivors of childhood sexual abuse
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Statistics report that one in four women, and one in six men have been sexually molested before the age of 18. Most likely the numbers are higher. Sexual abuse does not necessarily mean intercourse took place -- the offense could have included inappropriate touching, leering, and exposure to sexual material. The key point in sexual abuse is that another person used the victim for his or her own sexual gratification.
In general, men and women act-out the symptoms differently. Women tend to turn their anger inward and it manifests as depression, anxiety, self-injury.
Men tend to turn their emotions outward in anger, rage, and violence.
Both genders may use substances (drugs/alcohol) as a way to turn off the feelings associated with the abuse.
Both genders may take on incredible amount of shame from believing they caused the abuse, wanted it, or enjoyed certain aspects such as gifts or feeling of specialness. This shame is not theirs to carry, and it is what the perpetrator is hoping will happen...it's all part of the grooming-process. I thank God, some survivors are speaking out and reaching out to help others. They are shattering the silence. Do you have any of the symptoms listed below? Perhaps you've been sexually abused and never "connected the dots" to your current emotional pain:
- Anger
- Fear
- Homosexuality Issues
- Helplessness
- Isolation and Alienation
- Legitimacy
- Loss
- Masculinity Issues
- Negative Childhood Peer Relations
- Negative Schemas about People
- Negative Schemas about the Self
- Problems with Sexuality
- Self Blame/Guilt
- Shame/Humiliation
I came across a really informative web site. It is full of information on this topic: http://www.jimhopper.com/male-ab/
In addition, the Denver area has a wonderful organization called Wings, which offers support groups for male (and female) survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse. http://www.wingsfound.org
Books & Resources for Male Survivors
Andrews, John. (1994). Not Like Dad: One Man’s story of Recovery from Incest. Toronto: Macmillian Canada.
Berendzen, Richard. (1993). Come Here: A Man Overcomes the Tragic Aftermath of Childhood Sexual Abuse. New York: Villard Books.
Corneau, Guy. (1991). Absent Fathers, Lost Sons: The Search for Masculine Identity. New York: Shambhala/Random House.
Davis, Laura. (1990). The Courage to Heal Workbook: For Women and Men Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse. New York: HarperCollins.
Farmer, Steven. (1991). The Wounded Male. New York: Ballantine Books.
Hunter, Mic. (1990). Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse. Lexington, MA: Lexington Books.
King, Neal. (1995). Speaking Our Truth: Voices of Courage and Healing for Male Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse. New York: HarperCollins.
La Valle, John. Everything You Need to Know When You Are the Male Survivor of Rape or Sexual Assault.
Lew, Mike. (1990). Victims No Longer: Men Recovering from Incest and Other Sexual Child Abuse. New York: HarperCollins.
Lew, Mike. (1999). Leaping Upon the Mountains: Men Proclaiming Victory Over Sexual Child Abuse. Jamaica Plain, MA: Small Wonder Books.
Louganis, Greg. (1995). Breaking the Surface. New York: Penguin Press.
Matsakis, A. (1998). I Can’t Get Over It: A Handbook for Trauma Survivors. California: New Harbinger.
McEvoy, A. (Ed.) If He Is Raped: A Guidebook for Parents, Mates, Friends.
Scarce, Michael. (1997). Male on Male Rape: The Hidden Toll of Stigma and Shame. New York: Plenum Press.
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