RSS
Home
How to find a good counselor (part 4)
Print
Email
RSS
Subscribe
.jpg)
Click here to read part 1 of How to Find a Good Counselor
Click here to read part 2 of How to Find a Good Counselor
Click here to read part 3 of How to Find a Good Counselor
Therapists who cross Boundaries/Unhealthy therapists
I hate that I even have to write this section. The truth is, most counselors are ethical, but there are counselors who have their own pathology (their own mental sickness) and who will abuse the intimacy and safety of a counseling setting.
Hugging
Many counselors will hug a client and many won’t. The important thing to note is how safe the hug is. Is the therapist (or client) acting sexual? Usually, a side-to-side hug is safer. I was trained to ask myself, “Why do I want to give the client a hug? Is it about me needing it? What message would it send to the client? Will it be therapeutic or do damage.
As a student I was trained that hugging clients with certain personality disorders can be damaging. On the other hand, touch and hugging can have a powerful healing effect, especially for the client who has just shared her darkest sins and wonders if she is still lovable. As a therapist, I would always ask the client's permission. As a client, if a therapist hugs you, ask yourself if it felt unnatural? Unsafe? Sexual? If so, let the counselor know you do not want to hug.
Sex
Sexual activity between client and therapist is never appropriate! However, because therapy can be very intimate, people with unhealthy boundaries get confused. They equate emotional intimacy with sexual intimacy.
I’m not saying therapists and clients don’t ever have a sexual feeling towards the other (this is called "transference"), but therapists have clinical supervisors they can discuss this with (it would not be helpful for a therapist to tell a client she is sexually attracted to her client). But, if the client is feeling sexual attraction to the therapist, it might be great information for the therapist and client to discuss. Perhaps, she sees herself as only having her sexuality to offer anyone. Via honest discussion, she can learn a new way of being in the world.
Research has shown that the very people who get taken advantage of in therapy are those who have already experienced boundary violations (e.g. childhood sexual abuse). If a therapist acts out sexually with these clients, it usually does great damage -- clients are left more wounded (even if they think it was beneficial) but feel they have nowhere to turn. There is no excuse for a therapist to abuse this privilege.
*Though sexual activity is not appropriate, in the right context it is okay to discuss sexual things with a therapist. Click here to read a scholarly article on the prevention of boundary violations.
I hope you found these articles helpful. To receive my posts automatically, make sure you sign up to receive them via email.
Here's a humorous look at what sort of therapist you DON"T want to have:
Related Articles:
Comments
