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How to find a good counselor (part 3)
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To read part 1 of How to find a good counselor click here
To read part 2 of How to find a good counselor click here
What do we talk about?
If you’re wondering what you can say in therapy, go ahead and say it. What you think is shocking, is probably mundane to an experienced therapist. It’s okay to be completely honest in a session. Talk about feelings, fears, passions. Talk about your strengths, your weaknesses. Tell your therapist how you feel, in the room. Tell your therapist when she does something that is helpful. Tell her when she says something that you disagree with. Cry, laugh, connect.
I’m always amazed by clients who pay good money to hide things from their therapist. Most counselors are very compassionate and don't typically judge their clients -- they understand people usually have good reasons for how they are feeling or for the crazy things they do. With enough time and talk, it is not difficult to connect the dots in understanding why a client binges, resorts to self-injury, acts promiscuous, or has affairs.
How Long?
You get to decide how long you want to see a therapist, not the other way around. Too many clients hand over all their power, letting the therapist dictate how often and how long they are seen. By virtue of needing help, there is already an imbalance of power....you are already vulnerable to a person you see as having all the answers. But, if it doesn’t feel right after the first time, don’t go back.
Sure, it takes awhile to build trust, but you should have a gut feeling about the therapist from the very first phone call.
In general, people feel better after just a few sessions. Others may need more extensive therapy. If you're not making some significant changes within 8 – 15 sessions, you may need another therapist.
Convenience
Does it take weeks to schedule an appointment? Is the counselor easy to get a hold of and does he return calls right away? Is the office close? How about payment. Lots of counselors accept credit cards? Some accept insurance and others don’t. Some let you pay monthly and others want to be paid each session. What should you do if you are in crises? Will the counselor let you call? Will you be charged?
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