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Does this article make me look fat?
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So you’ve been in the bed these past two weeks, snacking on holiday leftovers and large Sunday after-football dinners. Aunt Flo came to visit you on December 26 or January 1. And all you’ve seen on TV are commercials about no-fuss exercise equipment and meal plans where celebrity has-beens boast about losing 45 pounds in 45 minutes.
Then last Saturday, you finally got out the bed and got dressed for an outing with your girlfriends. That’s when you saw it in the rectangular sultan of pain (otherwise known by men as a mirror)… the dreaded post holiday belly bulge!
You know what happened next: the most hideous, most vile, most degrading three words came out of your mouth… I LOOK FAT!
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Jennifer Aniston
I understand how you’re feeling. I’ve been there. Don’t make the same mistake I did and invest in a gym membership you can’t afford or change your entire lifestyle because you look bloated in a dress! Follow these tips and you’ll get past the female dysfunction…IFF (“I Feel Fats”).
Be realistic
Be realistic about wearing shapes that suit your body- NOT THE BODY YOU WANT, BUT THE BODY YOU HAVE RIGHT NOW. Do not, I repeat, do not hold onto an outfit for sentimental reasons or because you may fit into it one day. When you go to try it on and see if it fits yet, you’re just setting yourself up for failure. Taking a knife to your wrist would be less painful. When you’re feeling bloated don’t go near skinny jeans. In fact, stay away from ab-baring tops and low-waist jeans altogether.
Invest in an “I Feel Fat” outfit
Many women claim to own at least one “I Feel Fat” outfit, which helps to prevent both self-ridicule and depression. It’s the outfit that hides bulge and postpones an expensive gym membership. Personally, my “I Feel Fat” outfit is any rich-colored a-line dress cinched at the waist by a large belt. Beyoncé and Tyra Banks both cite 2 pairs of Spanx as their undercover “I Feel Fat” outfit. Even Lindsay Lohan, who has virtually no body fat, wears Spanx and has mentioned leggings and a billowy shirt as her “I Feel Fat” outfit. The look is such a favorite of hers that it even inspired her ridiculously expensive line of leggings.
Be kind to yourself
If you don’t like what you see in the mirror, the last thing you need to do is make yourself feel worse. You don’t like when people say you look bad if you already feel bad, so why would you do it to yourself? Tell yourself, “Well this is just one of those days. I’m still one sexy woman.”
Don’t be hard on yourself. Think back about what you’ve been doing all this past month: running around malls, stressed to meet deadlines at work,excessively eating, binge drinking, and sleep deprivation. No wonder you have bloating, headaches, and puffy eyes! There are so many toxins (salt, sugar, alcohol, and caffeine) having their own holiday party inside your body, saturated fat is on the wait list.
Last but not least, take an extra 5 minutes to throw on some makeup. Never underestimate the magic of having your hair in a bun. Got short hair? Slick it back like a runway model. You’ll feel sexy and sophisticated. And if all else fails, live by the Scarlett O’Hara mantra: “I wont think about that today, I’ll think about that tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day.”
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