It's Never Dull in Dickson!

March 14, 4:03 PMNashville Venues ExaminerEmily Blue

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Mister Fernando in Dickson, TN outside Club Evolution

Dickson, TN. 48 miles west of Nashville & if it wasn't your destination, it would only be a stop to fill up your tank or grab a quick bite before heading back out on the road. Unfortunately, it was our destination.

My friend Mark is in a band which hails from Atlanta called Mister Fernando. (side note: I designed their logo, original website & first EP-CD cover) and they were headed up through Nashville on their way to a show in Dickson, Tennessee. On their way, they swung by and snatched me up to go to the show with them, so I jumped in the van and away we went! I was to play the part of "band manager" - easy enough, I've been managing a band for almost 2 years now, I think I can handle it.

Evolution is the name of the club we were headed to. Although, I'm not sure much evolution has actually taken place in this town since Charles Darwin came up with his theory.

We roll up at 8:30 and unload. The club is located behind an Applebee's in a prefabricated building. It is cold, wet, & rainy, and the parking lot is speckled with trucks. Inside, is a large room with a DJ booth in the corner. In the back is another large room with 3 pool tables, a few darts boards, and a beer pong table! AWS!
I saddle up to the bar and order a Rhino energy drink (I gave up alcohol for lent. Only 29 more days!) and this place has got the BEST bar stools I've ever had the pleasure to rest my little tush upon. They are like the comfortable office computer chairs at a fancy cushy office job.

Don't put your Dickson Donuts!

I go back into the room with the stage and while the band is setting up, I tune Mark's guitar. A few people trickle in the band begins to play Yer So Bad by Tom Petty. Then they break into Incubus, followed by a fabulous rendition of Use Me Up by Bill Withers.

Stage right there are 4 or 5 necks. One is a full grown man wearing overalls and a nice dress shirt. Let's call him Bubba. There is another one who keeps shouting towards the band things like "WOOOHOOO!" and "PLAY SOME TOOL!" Let's call him Tool Shed. So after 3 or 4 songs, I observe Tool Shed approaching the stage, between each song, requesting, what I assume is a barrage of songs. I can see Johnny is humoring him for a moment, but overall, he is irritated and annoyed with the guy. This happens several more times, Tool Shed becoming more belligerent and getting more aggressive with his requests, approaching the stage between each and every song, apparently requesting Tool over and over again. How many times must you tell someone that you don't play a certain song or artist without getting angry about it? The guy starts really harrassing the band and I step in and talk to the door guy who finally kicks Tool Shed out after many obsceneties exchanged between the band and Tool Shed.

Then within the next song or 2, Bubba comes up to me while I'm grovin to Pink Floyd's Time & pushes up on me and asks me if I have a boyfriend, I say, yes, do you have a boyfriend? And he looks really confused by this question. I think he may actually be "special" so I am relatively disarming in my interaction with him. I am immediately reminded of the movie Idiocracy, & I wonder if he is actually retarded or just really drunk. I come to find out later from the door guy, that he indeed is NOT retarded and is INDEED very drunk. I wish you could have seen this guy. He seriously acted like he had special needs. I am not trying to be mean or hurtful here, just honest.

Dickson Poe-Leese

By the end of the night, the band was tired & hungry so we stopped at Waffle House. Oh what a night! Halfway through our meal, a girl named Crystal (go figure) comes running in wearing bright yellow corona pajama pants, a white wife-beater, with a full sized beer belly hanging out over them PJ pants screaming about some guy in the parking lot "threatnen' to keel her mama"  "he got a gun, call the Poe-Leese!" All SIX police men showed up to see what all the fuss was about (what? nothing else happening in town?! SHOCKER!) I am reminded of Reno 911 suddenly when a young cop walks in and asks the waitresses what had happened and she responds, "we was take-in owrders n stuff n this gurl come runnin in sayin how he got a gun, but we didn't see nuthin from here". WOW. We're not in Kansas anymore Toto.

What can I say, it never gets dull in Dickson!