Project Runway Recap - going for the gold

August 7, 1:29 PMChicago Style ExaminerJennifer Rifkin

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       Jerrel's outfit - just for laughs

I must say that the Wednesday episode of Project Runway this week was a bit of a snoozer. No crying fits, no fist fights, no tom foolery. Even the worst outfits in the parade weren’t a total nightmare.  Perhaps the Olympic themed challenge inspired peace amongst the designer mankind, and kept their fingers nimble enough to ward off too much disaster. 

It’s pretty obvious that I am no Sporty Spice. My cup of athleticism runs over at two beach volleyball games where all I could do well was serve.  Picture Daria with her hand out to the side and the balls flying past untouched.  For me, sporting attire leaves much to be desired, which was why this particular fashion competition to create an outfit for the opening ceremony of the Olympic games was snoresville from the start. All that red white and blue…the fact that Joe immediately thought to make a skort with USA appliquéd on the side, nothing good could come out of this.

Suede is busy making a cheerleading outfit, Kelli’s ensemble is a patriotic flight attendant, and Keith (lord help us) is still using picnic tablecloth fabric.  Not one real athlete ready to sprint 100 meters in 9.72 seconds is going to be caught dead parading around in these retro replica’s of the good ol’ U.S. of A.

Skelalash graced us with another lovely spandex catsuit.  Even her spectacular turquoise eyeliner was enough fodder to keep her in the fun this week.  Her Heman boyfriend Blayne  complained of wasting away without his tanning bed, and obviously the lack of artificial sunlight forced him to forget one of the sleeves on his ugly asymmetrical white pantsuit.  Was I the only one who noticed that he used pink and teal accents instead of blue and red?

Leanne cleverly incorporated her RW&B into a frilly mandarin collar with a chic white skirt suit.  All she needed was a rabbit fur muff and that model was ready for her 1950’s silverscreen close-up.  As usual Terri excelled with a three piece suit in coordinating stripes, accented with a bubbling jabot at the models throat.  This may have been made for team USA, but I think the Brits would say “Cheerio!” to this outfit as well.

Daniel and his scary hairy chest sinks to the bottom two with his blue/purple taffeta cocktail dress.  All I could think was that he really looks like a grown up Harry Potter – his dress the perfect wizarding wear. His BFF Kenley-I-need-a-muzzle may have slid quickly past the judges, but her purple plaid bubble skirt was still a hot mess.

Jerell’s Holly Hobby meets Hippy explosion was hilarious.  Each piece on its own (except the hat) would be fun and funky, but tie together all that patchwork and pattern then top it off with a floppy hat and your are bound to get a few laughs. 

Korto wins the challenge with her wide-leg linen pants and lightweight leather vest.  It was sleek and fresh, an outfit that would look decent on several body types, but it still lacked any WOW factor.  Winning this challenge doesn’t seem like an example of the couture style these designers are supposed to exude.

Boo hoo Jennifer goes home, it’s about time.  She obviously has the technical skills, but her imagination and ideas fall totally flat.  The gold striped skirt was feminine and fun, but dragged down by the dollhouse sweater and old school beading.  Nothing about it represented America and the Olympics, nothing about her represents the next great designer.  Good riddance.  She adds no flavor to our Project Runway stew and is better off sent packing.

Well here is to hoping that next week will bring back the funk.  I want neurotic meltdowns, I want Stella and Blayne to make out, I want outfits so terrible that Nina Garcia is left speechless and Heidi makes her “that couldn’t be more awful” face.  This is Bravo people! We want drama!