Men in sleeveless shirts? Only on John Mayer

July 20, 10:25 AMChicago Style ExaminerJennifer Rifkin

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The air was heavy with perspiration and anticipation, thick and breathless in 90-degree heat and 200% humidity. The lights go out and applause rushes through the amphitheater like floods through the Midwest, tens of thousands of fans pulsing with sound in the same suspended moment.  And then he appears – John Mayer, my fantasy boyfriend – resplendent with closely shorn locks, arms chiseled in the glaring stage light…and a black sleeveless tank top.

On any other man I would, and have before, called this a travesty.  Are you training for a weightlifting competition? Did you just get done mowing the lawn, dad? Yet, seeing my favorite ballad crooner strap on his guitar and show off those finely tuned guns to the world, I was thankful. Oh to be that guitar…Dayanu.

Recently dubbed the infamous “wifebeater” sleeveless cotton t-shirts really only have their place at the gym.  I picked up a six-pack of Hanes at Target and consider that as fashionable as my work-outs are going to get.  I have seen, with appropriate horror and disdain, the random girl wearing one of these white see through tanks with colored bra’s underneath.  This is not style, no matter how many times you saw Carrie on Sex and the City let her undergarments be everyday x-ray vision through her clothes.  You wanna show off your colored bra? Do it at home, in your pajamas.

Boys seem to think this is a sporty funky look.  Also not true.  Unless you recently got recruited to ride the tour bus with Eminem…and I am pretty sure with his current weight gain he’s not going to be wearing these anyway, you should consider sleeves of some sort a necessary attachment to every shirt.

Speaking of tour buses, my magical music experience was all the more sweet because of the VIP backstage passes I acquired.  Thanks JJ and Angie.  It’s not every day I get to hang out in the dressing room and fancy decked out monster vehicles of a musician I admire and have always wanted to meet.  Unfortunately Mr. Mayer was too busy with his current beau, Ms. Aniston, to spend much time hanging out with his band, but I was still thrilled to meet all the members and rock out in the tenth row of a venue that seats 28,000 people! 

Two hours of stage time in the summer Chicago heat leaves our star drenched.  Johnny M. thanks his fans profusely for giving him his career, gives props to his band, and exits the stage.  We all remain standing, screaming and applauding with all our might awaiting his encore return.  Another few moments to admire the way his tattoos crawl up the muscles in his arms, left bare by the tight black sleeveless tank.  I hear the girl next to me tell her boyfriend that John Mayer is the sexiest man in the world…a personal opinion to be sure, but I bet her boyfriend wasn’t thrilled when John strolled back on stage for a fabulous rendition of Van Halen’s Panama, sans the black tank.

John Mayer…80’s rock…no shirt at all.  Enough said.