
Setting the stage; Bravo launched its 5th season of Project Runway Wednesday night, with the expected barrage of kooky talent we will learn to love, hate, and despise in this reality TV designer challenge. I was happy to see that this go-around the talent is fresh and unknown, not a tangle of struggling fashion industry middle-men like last season's batch. I heartily look forward to utilizing my witty repartee, and stringent personal opinion, to recap this hour long sewing bonanza over the next several weeks. Bring on the bickering, the boo-hooing, and the breakdowns, all at the hands of our favorite Victoria’s Secret model and “Make it work!” queen.
Introducing the players; these thespians of style will keep us highly entertained with their sincerely amazing skill and vision, as well as their absolute lack of tact and follow through. I really wish that I could invoke Flavor Of Love and give each designer a ridiculous, and obviously degrading, nickname by which they will be referred for the rest of the series, but I know that will get confusing.
Korto – 33: Made the cool yellow kimono style dress with a scarf made of salad. Loved her rainbow eyeshadow but expect some sassy out of this one.
Leanne – 27: I think she wears glasses, but then there are two homely looking girls who I keep getting confused. She made the pink creampuff creation this round which makes me think she is full force into fluff and stuff in the future.
Suede – 37: Is he using that name just so we will remember him? Same reason for the blue Mohawk? I suppose it is working since his picnic dress was one of many and the only reason he stood out of the crowd is because he used word “Wackadoodle”, which I love.
Joe – 41: Made the dress made of pasta and oven mitts, which I thought was adorable and well thought out. Let's see if this Italian stallion (really not that good looking but a fun saying anyway) can keep it hot.
Jerry – 32: Got kicked out first round, which I am absolutely ok with considering I found him quite creepy. His rain jacket monstrosity truly looked like a serial killers attempt at fashion. Michael Kors had it right when he said it was a “handi wipe gone wrong.” Bon Voyage and peace out.
Wesley – 23: No memorable personality traits, but a very chic little yellow dress adorned with fly swatter flowers. Seemed completely wearable, let's see if he can keep up the creativity.
Daniel – 25: Pretty boy with chest hair that made the plastic cup cocktail dress. It reminded me of a robot version of Love Boat. Ten bucks he cries in several episodes to come.
Terri – 39: Loved her crocheted mop bucket bustier and fiery red pencil skirt. She definitely seems like she has a good head on her shoulders, and as one of the oldest woman in the group, I think we can expect some mama smackdowns for the young ones.
Emily – 27: Was she the one with all the red lipstick? Her dress was short and lacey and had a crazy turquoise neck thing all up around her face. Cute but random, we will have to wait and see if she has any true style or staying power.
Stella – 42: All I could focus on were her spider like lashes and that her face was sunken in like Skeletor! She used trash bags to throw together an absolutely garbage-y backless atrocity that screamed of her lack of talent and taste. Can we just call her the “skelelashtrashbagetor”??? Say that three times fast.

Blayne – 23: Absolutely my favorite effing hot mess. If Stella is Skeletor, Blayne is her Heman. What is with the orange? What is with the idiot red knit beret sporting assorted pins? His “outfit,” if you can even call it that, looked like a camp project where you weave your own hot pads, and then he strategically placed them over his model’s crotch. I could go on and on about his “girl licious” vocabulary and bronzed plastic Ken doll face, but hopefully we will have several more weeks of his crazytown personality to talk about.
Kelly – 27: Woo Hoo! Shout out to the Midwestern girl who won the first challenge! Her design showed true ingenuity and creativity with the hand designed vacuum bags and coffee filter brassiere. She was thoughtful, precise, and not a total headcase…at least not yet.
Keith – 26 / Kenley – 25 / Jennifer – 27 / Jerell – 28 / : all a little snoresville for me. I remember something about picnic dresses and strange pleated details, but nothing standout or worth commenting on. I hope that they will develop their characters, and add to the drama, in the weeks to come.
Are you ready for another season of Project Runway?! Are you geared up for all the energetic conversations you will hold with friends and co-workers on Thursday morning dissecting the best and worst outfits from the previous night, fighting hard for your fashion favorites? Stick with me every week for the snarky rundown you crave, and weigh in with your own opinions until the final “OUT” is auf wiedersehened.